26 of the Funniest Tweets from October 26, 2023

26 of the Funniest Tweets from October 26, 2023

It didn’t seem as though Donald Trump’s latest court case could get any more comical, but then yesterday happened. After the judge denied Trump’s request to dismiss his civil fraud case, Trump reportedly threw his hands up, said “I’m leaving,” and as a man true to his word, he abruptly left the courtroom. Those in the courtroom were said to have gasped as Secret Service agents chased after Trump for pulling a stunt that took even his own lawyers by surprise. Since there’s no footage of the incident from inside the courtroom, we’re forced to use our imagination to let it play out in the funniest way possible — that is, until this weekend where it’s likely to make an appearance on Saturday Night Live.

While Trump is exhibiting bizarre alien-like behaviors, one Oscar-winning actress is opening up about a bizarre alien encounter she experienced. Goldie Hawn appeared on the Apple Fitness+ show Time to Walk and shared that in her 20s she looked up at the night sky and begged to meet aliens: “I know you're out there, I know we’re not alone and I would like to meet you one day.” That day came just months later, as the Death Becomes Her actress recalled hearing a “high-pitched sound in her ear” before three beings described as “silver in color” with a “slash for a mouth, tiny little noses (and) no ears” appeared before her. When one touched her face, she said it felt like “the finger of God.” The experience stuck with Hawn all these years later and serves as a stark reminder to the actress that “we can never lose our wonder.” 

Over on the timeline, comedy is anything but alien to the posters. Today’s funny tweets include those about office gambling, a dimwitted sundae and a therapist who probably doesn’t date much. 

wild (tiktok) screenshots 15h ل When I broke up with a white boy and he deleted his stop asian hate story highlight 89 1,460 39.4K 895K

Alice Jones @alicevjones.23h Very into this couple on Grand Designs who have failed to make any bedrooms for their two teenage daughters but did travel to Marrakech to personally oversee the design of about 25 small tiles for the kitchen floor 104 251 10.1K del 1M

No Context Brits @NoConte... .5 5h ... The biggest plot twist since The Sixth Sense. Lucy Watson How old is the footage? My late husband and his son are on the first shot and he died in 2014?? 119 Like Reply 6d ^ Hide 32 Replies Author Spice Cottage Hi Lucy Watson, sorry to hear this. This footage was recorded last week. 72 Like Reply 6d 65 402 8,331 1M

k @lawfulspice 19h I randomly think about this at least once a month wendell @evilwendell-1 11h ... curses... another mirage 1 24 wendell @evilwendell.11h ... is that an oasis i see? 3 26 wendell @evilwendell.11h ... lost in the desert 3 24 11 1,624 14.6K 243K

(sick pants) @SureThing_B... 18h ... i think athletes should be able to gamble on us average people at OUR jobs. Let's see how Anthony Davis likes it when I rack up 4 hours screen time in a 6 hour shift when he had under 3.5 164 7,981 51.9K 2.9M

clare @sadderlizards 18h ... don't invite me to the function unless this is the vibe 23 4,215 26.4K 746K

Duncan Smith @DuncanSmith.... 16h ... What a legend STARTING LINEUP MIAMI HEAT Carnival Carnival 18 725 6,892 344K

Fergus Craig @FergusCraig 21h ... I'm in one of those pubs ran by people who've never been to a pub. blueprint building - - - LIVE SPORT MADRÍ EXCEPCIONAL* EL ALMA DE MADRID 388 489 23.8K 1.7M

Addicted to kale @kalepotatowater 16h my competer On him: are you fucking stupid me: - 9 832 7,765 203K

a sad little man @DAVIDPLEA... 18h ... my therapist said i should text the girls who ghosted me and ask for clarification on why things went wrong. is it just me or is that insane 473 1,826 38.5K du 1.1M

Vic Damone Jr @wholesomefoxx-1 1d ... Charlie Murphy: Dr. в @B__Hen 1d STOP LETTING PRINCE GET POINTS WTF 73 5,307 16.2K del 1.3M

cake @cake_hoarder 16h hardest tattoo i've ever seen DS cooking mama CHENES M 76 5,546 55.9K 1.6M

onion @juulrat 17h going to work @BrendanDaGawd - 18h wyd after hitting this? SATIVA HYBRID INDICA CACTUS Made - - - - - - - I 64 5.6K 56.7K 3M

Putruck @SmallPutrk . 3h ... I ain't know he was chill like that FOLLOWING PATRON This is cinema. FAVORITES AVENGERS MARVEL WARS STUDIOS SECRET NAME 2000 AVENGERS AVENGERS AVENGERS ENDOAM INFINITY WAR RECENT ACTIVITY FILM UPDATES Film Updates @FilmUpdates.3 3h Martin Scorsese ms Martin Scorsese has joined Letterboxd. FOLLOW boxd.it/7ua3D REL RIVI عدة -HURESS 16 416 7K 170K

JoeLongBalls @JoeLongBalls. 17h overtaken by uncontrollable laughter imagining the aisles littered with fucking chicken bones Realest @realest2solid 2 22h If they sold these in theaters instead of popcorn I'd be happy 161 4.2K 61.1K 1.2M

@dosnostalgic 19h Anatoly Shashkin MS ... US The king himself, John Carpenter, strikes again Imean, some people would view you as one of the master directors of horror films. That's nice. Sorry, I'm eating a Popsicle. 6.7K 11 1K 179K

My Beautiful Smile (Angel from Heaven). 7h *guy who bought his halloween costume in august* you guys NEED to check out this video Kyle Gordon @kylegordom101 - 7/28/23 CC BASS! 11 298 7.2K del 267K

tay @ntoinedoinel. 4h ten years since Lou Reed posted my little pony and died the day after Lou Reed Oct 26, 2013 Twilight Sparkle vs. Metal Machine Music notical recenter Science Lou Reed LA Easter METAL MACHINE MUSIC AN ELECTRONIC INSTRUMENTAL COMPOSITION THE AMINE B RING NOTATTON-When ! started Veavet uncerground the various applingorre, IL'S N CONCERN and 5 681 4.2K 112K

tay @ntoinedoinel.44 cuntalina @fiImaker 4h Thom Yorke needs his сосс sucked for this Suspiria (Music for the MFRA Luca Guadagnino Film) open.spotify.com 1 5 del 229 cuntalina @fiImaker 4h Ouu... a tap on the back I guess 1 2 the 79 12 290 72.9K 2.7K

Anne Chovy @AnneChovy2.15h THE HOME DEPOT 38 2K 15.5K 328K

i dont have a name @de4dname 4h nicki minaj's cousin after the vaccine NO CONTEXT HUMANS @HumansNo... 1d L11.4 167 2.8K 99.9K 1

eleanor @dimestorepaglia 18h he should be at the club jeremy @jeremylovesyall 4d reminder that john kramer is canonically 52 years old 1 282 1.5K 53K

Dudes Posting Their W's 6h ... My neighbor got a new car today and he's been standing outside staring at it while eating chips for 15 minutes 215 2,092 48.2K 1.4M

Siobhan Thompson, striking... 23h ... Therapy is not enough I need to fight Justin Timberlake 51 2,064 19.6K 689K

Keara Sullivan @superkeara 16h Would you ever delete social media? Hmm. Would a jester ever flee his court? Or would he understand the infallible truth that a jest, when spoken to a court of none, becomes a tragedy? 9 1,801 8,626 del 263K

Aqualmperium @aquaimperiu... 6h ... Girl at a party asked to see my YT recommendations because it's a good test for red flags and this was the first recommendation I had 15:50 What if Big Bird Exploded in the Challenger Disaster? AlternateHistoryHub 1.1M views 6 months ago 117 2,596 24.3K 514K
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