14 Brutal Movie Roasts We're Adding to Our Rotation

Yeesh! Who were these writers thinking of when they wrote these savage burns?
14 Brutal Movie Roasts We're Adding to Our Rotation

See?! Everyone sleeps on the writers until they drop that one show stopping line. And yes, we said “everyone sleeps on the writers,” because trust us, nobody sleeps with the writers. Writers get slept on so frequently that maybe the audience thinks actors are just shooting the shit while cameras are shooting the shit. Damn, we’re in the mood for zingers today. Those are the tamest ones you’ll read today, since these writers were in a real spicy mood when they penned these atomic bombs. 

We’ve all heard about an actor’s process countless times. Well, in the same way that actors drum up real-life emotions to play fictional characters, writers do the same thing! While sitting there in Starbucks, typing up a generational insult, passerby patrons might catch a glimpse of them mean mugging their laptop while imagining their dad telling them they’ll never amount to anything. Well, look at us now, dad! We’re writing! Writing about these 14 brutal TV and movie roasts we’re adding to our day-to-day roast lexicon!

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Yes, Saddam was evil, but it’s not like his shit would be worse than any other grown man’s.

Bridget wants no part of Daniel. Bridget Jones's Diary If staying here means working within 10 yards of you, frankly, I'd rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein's arse. CRACKED

Source / Rock and Art 

For a nice guy, Will Ferrell plays some seriously great assholes.

Cam Brady's top tier yo mama joke. The Campaign CARO 4th You know what the difference between your momma and a washing machine is? When I dump a load in a machine, the machine doesn't follow me around for three weeks. CRACKED


Damn, Jamie Lee Curtis! Get ‘im, girl!

Wanda wasn't happy with Otto's plan. A Fish Called Wanda I Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape? CRACKED

Source / Prime 

How dare you talk about Robin’s knuckles that way!

One of many great burns about Martin's beard. BOX FILMS Knocked Up 10 and When Ben adds, Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles. CRACKED


One of the most creative ways of calling someone a piece of shit.

Calling out fake friends everywhere. The Mist Jim Mrs. Carmody tells Amanda Dunfrey, I'll tell you what. The day I need a friend like you, I'll just have myself a little squat and S*** one out. CRACKED

Source / Fandom 

He was right. That greasy old man did look pretty cool.

Scarface had the most epic job quit of all time. Half Baked R SII When he's finally had enough of his burger flipping job, he grabs the mic and joyfully points out the jerks with, Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you! I'm out! CRACKED


Yeah, but real-life Keanu would be a great roommate.

Julie does not let Tod down easily. Parenthood I wouldn't live with you if the world were flooded with piss and you lived in a tree. CRACKED


Westley’s cold confidence is inspiring.

Westley is pretty straightforward with Humperdinck. The Princess Bride I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon. CRACKED


We wish the underdog said this one, but it’s too good to leave out.

When Taylor humiliates Laney in front of everyone. She's All That To everyone here who matters, you're spam. You're vapor. A waste of perfectly good yearbook space. CRACKED


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