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Men and women tell each other that honesty is the most important part of a relationship, but everyone knows that's bullshit. Otherwise, these cards would exist.
Not everyone has the millions of dollars it takes to advertise on Cracked.com. And for those poor bastards, well, there's just no guarantee your ad won't get the most cruelly ironic placement possible.
Everyday life would look a lot cooler. Also, nothing would work.