This Device Puts The Power Of Music In The Palm Of Your Hand

This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.

Long ago, in the Mesozoic era of 2006, human beings frolicked in harmony as matchbox-sized devices randomly dispensed downloaded music into their waiting ears. Those glorious devices were known as iPod Shuffles, and while streaming services like Spotify and Apple Music have made the songs we listen to more accessible than ever, we no longer have the freedom to travel outside the bounds of a WiFi connection. The more advanced our technology gets, the more we become trapped ... and other related metaphors.

And then, like a rainbow in the dark, comes Mighty. Mighty is a shuffle-like device which downloads Spotify playlists and stores them locally. You're essentially getting the best of both worlds -- the ability to access Spotify's endless music library, and the ability to take it with you on the go. The Mighty player also comes with an extra button which lets you cycle through all of your synced playlists by speaking their names out loud, meaning you can go right to the music you want, in case you ain't in the mood to shuffle. But really, who ain't in the mood to shuffle?

I'm the hardcore sports type. Can Mighty withstand my levels of EXTREME?

You better believe it. The Mighty player is built to survive the elements. It is drop-resistant and water-resistant, and you can attach it to almost anything without having to wear an awkward plastic armband. And since it's fully operable with physical buttons and voice control, you won't be constantly distracted by a bright screen when you are trying to crest that hill, land that 540 spin, or (lets be real) walk down the street to get chicken fingers.

Lets see those specs!

The Mighty player works with any wired or Bluetooth headphones. It holds up to 8 GB of offline music, which translates to well over 1,000 songs. With all of that space, you can easily fit in every major TV theme song and have some room left over for the much needed therapeutic tapes. Mighty will keep playing for up to five hours straight on a single charge and refills easily with micro USB.

Bring it home!

You can get a Mighty in one of three colors: Lola Black, Shikaka White, or Crush Orange. It's being offered in the Cracked Shop, and readers can get an additional 10 percent off with the code MIGHTY10.

Hey, Mr. DJ, turn the music up and listen to Piano Man and News of the Winslows on full blast with your Beats by Droid.

Keep bringing the noise (and the funk) with Headphones for the Post-Election Apocalypse.