Stairway To... Let's Say About The 9th Floor

Everyone who gets hard from being severely disappointed is gearing up for the Led Zeppelin reunion. Arguably the greatest rock band of all time is going to perform on December 10, 2007 with Jason Bonham filling in for his deceased father on drums. And just to make sure it lacks the fire, intensity, and polish of the original Led Zep recordings, they're making some changes:
Led Zeppelin have been forced to rearrange their hit songs for their upcoming reunion concert - after frontman Robert Plant struggled to hit high notes in rehearsals. . . .


A source tells British newspaper The Sun, 'He and guitarist Jimmy Page have had a few heated discussions about the upcoming gig. Jimmy is a bit rusty and Robert has been struggling with the high notes. To avoid any embarrassing vocal wobbles with the world watching, they decided it would be best to transpose the songs in a lower key.'


Wow. I can't imagine the degree to which Plant's voice has fallen to pieces because even in his prime, Plant could NEVER hit his hight notes live. Go rent Song Remains The Same and fast forward to Ramble On. His paint-peeling shrieks have been replace by a lower octave warble. He sounds like Elvis. Or listen to some of Houses of the Holy (particularly Song Remains the Same) and tell me they didn't speed up the tape. Either that or Alvin from the Chipmunks took some guest vocal spots.

Don't get me wrong. Plant is one of the greatest and most important singers in the history of Rock, but at the end of the day, he's just an accidental genius. Unlike John Paul Jones and Jimmy Page who were trained studio musicians, Plant was some half-wit, squealing in the blues tradition and spouting nonsense lyrics or lines he stole from The Lord of the Rings. And it was great. Zep's first five albums are five of the greatest Rock albums ever made. It just worked, which is odd, because usually it's a bad sign when your frontman takes off his shirt and starts singing about Mordor.


So there you have it. Robert Plant is an intellectually-impaired cheeseball who can't even pretend to cut it live anymore. And, oh, and in case I case I haven't sufficiently enraged die-hard Zep fans, I should mention I banged your mom.

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