Cracked Editors' Picks Of 2018: 27 Articles We Liked A Lot
As editors at Cracked, we're proud of all of the articles that pass through our mighty halls. But every once in a while, we get a piece we like so much that we wish we could publish it twice. So now we are! Here are 27 articles from 2018 that we found to be particularly informative, hilarious, and/or profound. They are not presented in any particular order, despite the obvious numbers next to each of them.
6 Mind-Blowing Alternate Endings That Change Everything
By Brendan Day and Nathan Wadowski
Movie endings often seem so simple. The good guys win, "All Star" by Smash Mouth plays, and the bad guy that you thought was dead winks at the camera. It's that easy. But did you know that a lot of famous films almost had terribly ridiculous finales? For example, The Jungle Book almost ended with hellfire and murder.
The Cringe-Worthy Way Sci-Fi And Fantasy Deal With Prejudice
By Lydia Bugg
The fantasy genre can make for great allegories for real-world problems. But please, for the love of Tolkien, can we stop making metaphors about race where every minority is some kind of actual monster?
7 Famous Shows That Were Total Chaos Behind The Scenes
Good television almost seems effortless, as if all the pieces came together at once and everyone went home happy. But this is rarely the case. Often, good TV is forced to barrel past a bunch of insanity going on behind the scenes. Like how John Belushi would sabotage anything written by a woman on SNL, or how a major star and the creator of Community were seemingly in a competition to see who could make things worse for everyone else.
Related: 4 TV Shows You Loved That Were A Nightmare Behind The Scenes
What We're Still Not Teaching Kids About Consent
Sexual consent is a big deal, and should be taught to everyone all over the world forever. That said, we often do a very poor job of teaching our own children about the boundaries that they should respect and expect others to abide by.
8 Traumatizing Early Versions Of Beloved Kids' Characters
By Mark Hill
When you nail the design of a character for a kids' show, it is often immortalized. Just look at Mickey Mouse, or any talking animal who won't shut the fuck up about how good cereal is. However, getting to these designs is rarely easy. There are a lot of first drafts involved that seem like they were ripped from H.P. Lovecraft's dream journal.
7 Products That Bizarrely Use War As A Marketing Tool
By Ian Fortey
War, what is it good for? Well, selling products, apparently. For some reason, advertisers and creators have latched onto the idea that people are way more likely to buy stuff if it has guns, bullets, and camouflage splattered all over it. Does it work? Well, just take a look at a bottle of sexual lubricant that's shaped like a bullet and YOU tell us.
5 Movie Plots You Won't Believe Played Out In Real Life
By James Kineen, Saikat Bhowmik, Alex Perry, and S.S.A.
A major tactic for movie marketing is to include the line "INSPIRED BY A TRUE STORY THAT REALLY HAPPENED, YOU NERDS." But even if a movie doesn't go heavy on trying to convince you it's real, that doesn't mean that the events of the film haven't totally played out in the real world.
5 Children's Books To Confuse Your Child Into Patriotism
Wanna get someone to love America more than is rationally possible? Better start teaching them while they're young. As it turns out, there is a whole parade of books meant to befuddle your child so much that they basically become a nationalist by accident.
6 Overlooked Details That Turn Beloved Characters Into Jerks
By JM McNab
When you love a fictional character, you're often willing to overlook their flaws. But no longer. We're not going to stand idly by and ignore the facts. Like, did you know that when Mario wants Yoshi to do anything, he punches his dinosaur pal in the back of the head? What a bastard!
Related: 5 Famous Characters Who Died Horrible Off Screen Deaths
5 Classic Movies That Spawned Terrible Hollywood Trends
When you're watching something incredible, you often forget the #1 law of Hollywood: "If a movie is great, it must be copied by other movies until it is not so great anymore." We think Spielberg said that when he was drunk once. It's why we'll be treated to Halloween-inspired slasher flicks and The Dark Knight-inspired superhero frowns until the end of time.
5 Crazy Secret Stories About Your Favorite Superheroes
By Adam Wears
You own the Blu-rays for all of the MCU movies and you watched Suicide Squad once on a flight, so you probably think that you know everything that there is to know about your favorite superheroes, right? WRONG. The Hulk used to be a grey werewolf, and Deadpool is a dirty, dirty ripoff.
Tabloids Insist A Brain Injury Turned Me Into A Dominatrix
Alissa Afonina became internet-famous when she won a huge lawsuit after a car accident turned her into a dominatrix. Wow. That sentence is a lot to digest, and sounds fairly ridiculous. So ridiculous, in fact, that we decided to dive into her story, where we discovered that the truth was way more interesting than the clickbait.
Related: 6 People Who Gained Amazing Skills From Brain Injuries
The Creepy (And Pervy) Way Anti-Drug Propaganda Used Women
By E. Reid Ross
Anti-drug films taught generations of people that the slightest hint of marijuana in a room would turn mild-mannered people into the Joker. But even dumber than that is how these films portrayed women. In trying to protect the ladyfolk from the dangers of weed, these films produced some of the most sexist things imaginable.
5 Huge Crazy Feuds You Had No Clue Were Happening Right Now
By Dan Hopper
When you hear that there is "beef" among famous people, you usually wonder, "Oh hell. What did Drake do now?" But there are feuds going on that put even the most ridiculous of rap diss tracks to shame. Like, did you know that a powerful cabal wants to make people get into square dancing again?
6 Small Roles With Hugely Interesting Stories Behind Them
By Adam Wears
When an actor has a small role in something, you usually gloss over it because whatever Harrison Ford is doing seems far more important at the time. But there are tons of movies and TV shows where the story behind a cameo is way more interesting than the plot itself.
Related: 5 Iconic Characters That Were Only Supposed To Be Bit Parts
When Your Quiet Town Becomes The Set Of 'Lord Of The Rings'
"Ah, Middle-earth. Wouldn't it be wonderful to live there?" says your friend who hasn't developed an actual personality yet. And while it may be nice to chill in Gondor, it's definitely not nice to have your very real town turned into the place. As it turns out, when Peter Jackson decides that where you live needs to become Hobbit territory, only misery will follow.
5 Awesome Movie Plot Leaks (That Inexplicably Went Nowhere)
By JM McNab
Nothing makes fans excited like plot leaks. A little secret dribbling out of a film's production can mean more than a thousand trailers. However, leaks rarely turn out to be what they're hyped up as, as is the case with these six films. Sorry, Kylo Ren and Venom fans, you've been duped.
What Goes On Behind The Scenes Of Courtroom TV Shows
It's a classic American pastime to find yourself watching Judge Judy on a lazy Tuesday afternoon. And, while watching her magnificently smack down lackluster roommates and conniving exes, you probably wonder how a show like that comes together. Well wonder no more, fans of 2 p.m. TV, because we've got the juicy details right here.
The 5 Craziest Undercover Stories In Police History
By Alex Hanton, E. Reid Ross, Genma Jay, Andrea Meno, and Michael Battaglino
We've all wondered what it would be like to go undercover, to wear the big sunglasses and try out the awful accent that will eventually take down the cartoonish crime kingpin. But as wild as that dumb fantasy is, actual undercover police stories can be even wilder.
I Read Steven Seagal's Insane Novel So You Don't Have To
By Mark Hill
When he's not buddying up to Eastern European despots or being nearly immobile in D-grade action flicks, Steven Seagal is apparently quite the author. He wrote a whole book about how a guy who's totally not meant to resemble him takes on the corrupt "Deep State" and saves America. And man, is it worse than it sounds.
6 Underrated (And Selfish) Benefits Of Parenthood
By Nathan Birch
Being a parent isn't all shit-filled diapers and noble sacrifices. Sometimes, it's actually kind of rad. For example, you'll never have to go out of your way to do a favor for someone ever again.
Related: 5 Things No One Tells You About The First Year Of Parenthood
6 Silly Questions That Actually Got Serious Answers
By Mark Hill
Does it take large animals longer to pee? Which puppy is the cutest? Are you a good person, and not just a shell of a human being trying to fit into an uncertain world where no reward is ever truly promised? We have answers to those first two questions (and many more) right here!
Don't Trust Anyone Who Says They'll 'Get Tough' On A Problem
By Dan Hopper
Did a politician just open up their lizard face to promise that they'll "get tough" on a major issue, like crime or drugs? If so, don't be surprised if what follows is more of the same thing with a side helping of needless cruelty.
4 Fun Movie And TV Shows That Are Horrifying In Hindsight
By Adam Wears
Anything that's made before, well, this year is gonna seem a little bit dated. But sometimes, this pattern of aging goes beyond "Haha! Walter White is using a flip phone!" and into "Oh god. Oh god, no." Like all of those Alex Jones cameos in movies from the early 2000s, or the Harvey Weinstein jokes that were a staple of so many sitcoms.
Quirky Corporate Twitter Accounts Are Not Your Friends
By Mark Hill
Haha, Wendy's made a funny tweet! And Arby's made an anime reference! That's so great. Too bad that they still treat their workers like garbage, but hey! Their social media accounts are a delight.
Why Do Sitcoms Think It's Hilarious When Women Eat?
By Lydia Bugg
Is your female character stressed? Or does she want to fit in? Or is her life going out of control? Have her eat comical amounts of food. Apparently, just the fact that a woman likes food on a TV show is enough reason to insert a laugh track.
Stop Telling Yourself Trump's Supporters Are Turning On Him
By Ian Fortey
At this very moment, a hundred news sites are publishing articles about how Donald Trump's latest actions are finally turning his fanbase blue. Except they're not. And they never have. And they likely never will.
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