10 Michelle Wolf Jokes for the Hall of Fame

‘Brides will say things like, ‘It’s my special day.’ But how do you call it your day if your dad’s paying for it? I think it’s his day, and I think it’s a really weird day for him. He’s paying a ton of money to make sure a man has sex with you that night’

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Case Mods, Taxidermy and The Greatest Movie of All Time: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

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Awesome Video Of The Day Invasion U.S.A. Is Apparently The Greatest Film Ever Made I watch a lot of YouTube clips, and as such, I appreciate it when a video manages to pack a lot of awesome into a neat little package. By that standard, today's clip is pretty much the best video on the entire internet. Invasion U.S.A. is a film (NOT a movie) about Chuck Norris fighting Latino communist guerrillas in Florida, and it's set in an alternate universe where Florida is actually worth defending. Chuck Norris might not be in this particular clip, but I think that everything else that's going on here pretty much makes up for it. In a mere thirty seconds, this clip manages to cram in:
  • Cocaine use
  • A sinister catchphrase
  • A chick getting a metal straw jammed into her brain (and then thrown through a window)
  • A dude getting choked and shot in the nuts
  • If that isn't enough to make you want to rent Invasion U.S.A., maybe this movie trivia will. Why don't they make movies like this anymore?!
    Wildcard! The Most Awesome(ly Stupid) Computer Ever Made. If you're like me, you're really into taxidermy and modding out your hardcore PC gaming rig. But if you're like me, you also have a bunch of other stuff that gets in the way of those interests (your full-time job, your girlfriend, serial TV dramas, sleeping, etc). There are only so many hours in the day, but fortunately someone has figured out a way to combine our passions. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the
    Beaver Computer. It's pretty impressive that someone had the motivation and technical know-how to build a functioning computer inside of an actual taxidermied beaver, but how do I know it's up to the task of running today's CPU-intensive titles at high display settings? Without benchmark tests this photo set is pretty much useless - although this particular photo serves to both teach you what a beaver's crotch looks like and show you that The Cat In The Hat is available in Latin. Wait - a picture of a beaver's crotch?! Great. Now my head hurts.

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