4 More Unwritten Rules Hollywood Needs to Stop Following


Hollywood is notoriously resistant to change. If something was found to be successful in the past, you can guarantee it will be played out over and over again -- no matter how tiresome it becomes. For decades now, scriptwriters have relied on the same stock characters, cliches, and structures to produce lazy, formulaic films and shows that do little more than reinforce every negative stereotype about every segment of society imaginable. For example ...

Every Husband Is a Bumbling Idiot

4 More Unwritten Rules Hollywood Needs to Stop Following

In Hollywood, the typical family man is part Neanderthal, part doofus, and all-around annoying. Too often, sitcoms, cartoons, and movies portray the dad as a well-intentioned -- yet woefully inept -- man-child, whose wife has to play "mommy" to him as well as their kids. It's as if we were to assume every marriage certificate comes with a full-frontal lobotomy for the husband. How did these men survive before they had a woman in their lives to keep them from walking into walls every five minutes?

The current poster child for the imbecile dad is Phil Dunphy of the TV show Modern Family.

While the award-winning show has been praised for taking a fresh approach to family dynamics, that unfortunately doesn't seem to extend to the "tired, naggy wife and idiot husband" trope. From his cringe-worthy attempts at humor to his creepy advances on his own (step)mother-in-law ...

Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty


... Phil is a clueless and, at times, tactless lout, and that somehow is supposed to come off as endearing? While I'm sure there are many out there who would disagree, given the popularity of the character, men acting like dolts doesn't come off as charming as much as it does pathetic.

Another trait of the the dumb dad is his inability to care for his own offspring -- as seen in the recent movie Mom's Night Out.

When Mom decides to take one night out for herself, chaos ensues because, you know, Dad is an idiot. If you couldn't stomach the full two-and-a-half minutes of the trailer, at one point, one of the mothers asks her husband what's the worst thing that could happen to their children if he were in charge.

4 More Unwritten Rules Hollywood Needs to Stop Following

"Is it that I might be their real dad?"

He sputters, "They could get maimed ... I could lose both of them ... It's getting hot in here." Really?

Why It Needs to Stop

In the fictional universe, "Dad" is too often portrayed as a nitwit, overwhelmed by simple concepts and put out when asked to participate like a grown-up. It's insulting to men and also helps foster his overdone counterpart, the shrewish wife.

4 More Unwritten Rules Hollywood Needs to Stop Following

This is from the Valentine's Day episode!

What person wouldn't be driven to distraction if his or her spouse constantly acted like such an idiot? It's a lame stereotype and completely removed from reality. The overwhelming majority of fathers and husbands aren't incompetent half-wits who don't know how to feed their kids or recognize social cues. Perhaps it's a backlash from the Father Knows Best era, with its overabundance of patriarchal reverence, but the pendulum has swung so far to the other side that the middle ground, when it comes to representing the family man, barely even exists anymore.

Black Women Are Sassy!

4 More Unwritten Rules Hollywood Needs to Stop Following

With her head tilt, exaggerated eye roll, and hand wave, she's always ready with a snappy retort. The sassy black woman is a comedy mainstay, and Florence Johnston (Marla Gibbs) from the TV show The Jeffersons is one of the earliest, best-known examples. Always at odds with her boss, George Jefferson, Florence could be counted on to put the blustering, hot-headed George in his place.


"You have a gigantic phone call."

But, see, Florence wasn't the only black woman represented on the show. There was Louise "Weezy" Jefferson (Isabel Sanford), the voice of reason, and neighbor Helen Willis (Roxie Roker), the hot trophy wife, to round out the cast.

Today, the character archetype that Gibbs made famous is considered cliche, and two contemporary actresses totally agree that it should totally be retired ... sort of.

When The Mindy Project was set to debut, executive producer and star of the show Mindy Kaling promised her show would be different ...

"I just didn't want the characters to be too stock -- not the sassy black woman or the bimbo. You see those sometimes, but they're not very fresh."

As is so often the case when a new show is working out its kinks, The Mindy Project went through some casting shake-ups toward the end of the first season, and a new character was brought on to liven things up. Let's see what she's like ...

That's Xosha Roquemore, who, as the L.A. Times points out, is the only other minority cast member with a regular role besides Kaling. She joined the show late in the first season, filling the obligatory hospital-based comedy role of "sassy black nurse."

4 More Unwritten Rules Hollywood Needs to Stop Following

Retta, who played Donna on Parks and Recreation, went on Talk of the Nation to discuss the types of roles she'd been offered prior to Parks and Rec. "When I started, it was all meter maids or the sassy nurse or the sassy receptionist in the hospital," she told NPR's Neal Conan. "And I felt like: Are those the only jobs that large, black women have?"

NPR goes on to describe Retta's portrayal of the character of Donna as "mostly in the background of the show, but is known for obsessing over her Mercedes SUV and for creating the Parks and Rec 'Treat Yo Self' holiday." So, I guess the takeaway is: At least she's playing a sassy ... civil servant? Progress!

Why It Needs to Stop

Enough already. There are limited options in terms of representation for the black female in Hollywood, and, too often, she's a peripheral character who only shows up occasionally to deliver a snappy comeback. There needs to be more than just that one stock character type for black comedic actresses. Some readers will probably note Parks and Rec's diversity in casting Rashida Jones as Leslie Knope's mild-mannered best friend, Ann. Meek and unassuming, she's the antithesis of the sassy black woman, but her ethnicity is often overlooked ... even by professionals who should know better. As when this reporter complimented Jones on her "tan."

While the sassy black woman is a beloved character, it has been done to death. Unfortunately, when even those who call it out for being limiting and trite end up embracing it, the trope isn't going anywhere soon.


The Annoying Teenage Girl Ruins Everything

4 More Unwritten Rules Hollywood Needs to Stop Following

She's self-absorbed and clueless, and her only purpose seems to be to cause problems for everyone around her. Whether it's Lizzie (Brighton Sharbino) on The Walking Dead, insisting zombies are actually pretty cool, or Kim Bauer (Elisha Cuthbert) on 24, inexplicably about to be devoured by a cougar ...

4 More Unwritten Rules Hollywood Needs to Stop Following

A terrorist cougar.

... according to Hollywood, there's no limit to a teenage girl's stupidity or nettlesome nature.

Bauer was regularly called out as the dumbest character on television -- and with good reason. In the first season, she managed to get herself abducted four different times in a single 24-hour period. One or possibly two kidnappings? OK. But four times in the same day? That seems excessively careless by any stretch of the imagination.

By the second season, Bauer had moved on to even more hapless misadventures, such as getting caught in an animal trap while being stalked by the aforementioned cougar -- only to be rescued by a psychotic survivalist.

4 More Unwritten Rules Hollywood Needs to Stop Following

The cougar left after season two because of a contract dispute.

The American's teen daughter Paige Jennings (Holly Taylor) started out as a promising character. In the first season, she acted as a caretaker to her younger brother and seemed to have inherited her mother's no-nonsense approach to life. Unfortunately, by the second season, she quickly devolved into the sullen teenage stock character that seems to be trotted out every time writers need to toss their protagonists extra challenges.

And then there's Dana Brody (Morgan Saylor) from Homeland. Thanks to her (literal) hand-wringing, grand pronouncements of "I can't be Dana Brody anymore" ...

4 More Unwritten Rules Hollywood Needs to Stop Following

Can you be quiet, at least?

... and overall angsty, emo temperament, she quickly became the most hated character on TV, knocking Breaking Bad's Skyler White from her perch. So thick was the vitriol, Saylor defended her character in an interview with The Daily Beast, while The New Yorker felt compelled to publish a piece entitled, "A Defense of Dana on Homeland." Unfortunately for teenage girls, the defense of her character seemed to be no defense at all, beyond, "Hey, that's what teenage girls are actually like in real life!" Umm. No, they are not.

Why It Needs to Stop

Writers seem to think all teenage girls are self-centered and irrational. The annoying teenage girl is too often used as an easy plot device to add an extra wrinkle for the lead to overcome. Written as a completely unlikable narcissist, the only rationale for her acting in such an ignorant, counter-intuitive manner seems to be, "She's a teenage girl -- what do you expect?" Not only is it not true, it's lazy writing.

Being Gay Is a Punchline

4 More Unwritten Rules Hollywood Needs to Stop Following

How exciting was it when Comedy Central announced James Franco would be the subject of their next celebrity roast? From his bizarre stint on General Hospital, where he played himself but as the eponymous "Franco," a multimedia artist and a serial killer, to his non-visible art foray, where, as the name implies, he sold a piece of "non-visible art" for $10,000 ...

To a woman who eventually complained about being ripped off.

... there was ample ammunition to take him down.

But, when today's greatest comedic minds had the opportunity to rake Franco over the coals, it was two hours of basically, "Har har, you're gay."

Almost every comic that took the Comedy Central podium trotted out some version of the "being homosexual is embarrassing" lampoon, and none was more hack about it than Seth Rogen, who clocked in with at least eight gay jokes. Here's one example of Rogen's witticisms: "Franco told me he worked for 36 hours straight, which I don't believe -- the straight part."

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So, the insult is that Franco is gay? Hilarious.

The problem goes beyond one uninspired roast. Too often, simply being gay is still equated with a joke, and it's really hard to see what makes that funny. While we have come a long way from the Eddie Murphy Raw days, Hollywood seems to be slow to catch on completely. Universal's trailer for The Dilemma featured Vince Vaughn telling an offensive joke, and it took a complaint from Anderson Cooper -- that using the word "gay" in a derogatory way is unacceptable -- in order for the clip to be yanked from the trailer.

There was no fixing the fact that it's still a stupid movie, though.

Popular movies such as The Hangover, Hot Tub Time Machine, and 22 Jump Street have many genuinely funny moments, yet they still rely on being gay as a punchline.

It's not just comedies that resort to gay panic humor. Michael Bay movies are infamous for slipping in a "OMG, I'm not gay" moment whenever possible. From Martin Lawrence and Will Smith reassuring each other they aren't gay to homophobic Transformers, Bay's movies offer an example of how much growing up Hollywood still needs to do.

Why It Needs to Stop

When scriptwriters resort to how crazy hilarious it would be to be homosexual, the humor falls flat -- so, why use it? Bottom line: Reinforcing the use of "gay" -- as some sort of put-down for straight guys to use on each other -- just isn't funny.

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And also check out 6 Insane Superstitions That Are Still Shockingly Influential and 4 Insane Pop Culture Obsessions People Got Rich Pursuing.

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