3 Celebrities You Idolize (And The 3 You Resemble Instead)
A lot of us don't measure up to our idols. Like the little league ballplayers who dream of being Derek Jeter but grow up to be high school gym teachers. Or the young mall-rat divas aspiring to be Christina Aguilera who end up performing on Carnival cruise lines. But what about people who are distinct successes, but still want to be some wholly other thing? In the early '80s, Eddie Murphy apparently wasn't content being the world's most popular comedian and movie star, so he decided to become Rick James for awhile.
Far more damning than that story about him and the transsexual.
Music: The Flashy Cosmic Rocker vs. The Earnest Singer-Songwriter
"Oh my God! He's SUCH a gaylord!"
The early '80s Bowie was still unique and stylish, but less likely to get chased by guys with baseball bats after a concert in Boston.
Not fair to blame Billy for the mullet.
Monsters: Vampire vs. Werewolf
Maybe not as respected as Interview With the Vampire, but easier to finish.
The Dream: The VampireI started compiling a list of things that attract me to vampires, and a funny thing happened: It was somewhat similar to my list of David Bowie attributes. Indeed, Bowie even played a vampire in 1982's The Hunger. Solid casting, as I enjoy the notion of the vampire as an elegant man about England, well-dressed, sophisticated, eloquent and impossibly seductive to women.Yes, I know Bram Stoker's Dracula looked a lot more like the one in Nosferatu, but I'm not talking about his kind of vampire.
Just for clarity, I didn't aspire to be this kind of vampire, who looks like the spawn of gremlins and sea monkeys.
Yep, you guessed it. Werewolves are fastidious with their personal hygiene.
Apparently, the thirst for blood is borne from inadequate testosterone levels.
My hands don't look like that, but when I was 13 I heard they might start to unless I stopped doing a certain thing.
Comedy: The Witty, Urbane Humorist vs. The Shticky Jew
"Either that dreadful 140 character limit goes, or I do."
And he was right at the time, but would I listen?
Was There a Point to This?
Yeah, I think so. Obviously, these examples are very specific to me. I get that. And I also appreciate that splitting my psyche open on the sharpened slate of the Internet has a limited appeal. But I do think there is a larger general point, and it's NOT "just be yourself."While there are dangers in straying from what you do best or ignoring your true calling to forcibly insert yourself into some other mold, I think it has value, too. Neil Simon, the playwright and screenwriter famous for The Odd Couple,
Flamboyance and grunge don't mix. That's why you rarely see this.
For more from Gladstone, check out Was 'Arrested Development' A Remake of a 70s Sitcom? and Dr. Strange The Movie: Why It's Not as Crazy As It Sounds.