6 Dignified Actors Stuffed Into Deeply Embarrassing Costumes

You only see it for two hours, they had to wear it for months on end
6 Dignified Actors Stuffed Into Deeply Embarrassing Costumes

Ah, movie magic! The sounds and the sights! The glitz and glamour! The several hours in a makeup chair applying prosthetics that ultimately make you look like an idiot! Despite the fact that weve been doing movies for so long that youd think theyd be able to nip the shitty ones in the bud, horrible movies are still regularly released. Being in a bomb is bad enough, but knowing that you had to don an eminently stupid costume every day to do it? Even worse. Double that if youre an actor of actual renown, who now forever has a stain of them in some stupid suit among their Google image results of award acceptance speeches.

Here are six dignified actors who had to wear some all-time sartorial stinkers…

Gary Oldman as Dracula

Gary Oldman is an absolute legend. If you need any reminder, just pick any of his many movies or the recent, criminally underrated Slow Horses. The man is also in possession of a respectably stocked awards shelf, including an Oscar for 2018s Darkest Hour, and a handful of BAFTAs, for whatever those are worth. Hes got a gravitas that can carry some pretty ridiculous looking getups, like in The Fifth Element. Every acting bone in his body, however, wasnt able to save his costume in Bram Stoker's Dracula, which was a nightmare for all the wrong reasons. Apparently, the whole reason he took the role was because of how much he liked the line “I've crossed oceans of time to find you.” For that, he was repaid across the entire spectrum of costume indignity, from uncomfortable bat suits to whatever this receding hairline meets gothic Hey Arnold! monstrosity of a look is.

Robin Williams as Popeye

As you might have been able to guess, theres going to be a pretty heavy comic-book presence on this list. This entry, though, is a little less Marvel and a little more Sunday funnies. It might be tough, but Captain Americas arms can be built in the gym. The appendages of famous sailor-man Popeye cannot. So Robin Williams was left to strap on the prosthetic forearms of the famous seafarer. The movie, arguably, is much better than the collective memory of it. Still, even for someone who played Mrs. Doubtfire, its got to be hard to start every day of work making yourself look like a character that was drawn that way specifically because someone thought it looked funny.

Tim Curry in Legend

He might not have the Academy Awards the previous two actors have, but it would feel patently insane to argue that Tim Curry isnt a great actor. Its impossible to deny the gift he brought to each and every role he ever played. And yes, I mean every role. Hes somebody that can make most costumes feel perfectly reasonable just by how deep he dives into whatever ridiculous character hes been cast as. Sometimes, though, the suit is simply too much. 

Thats one way to describe what he wore to play the Lord of Darkness in the movie Legend. Now, your mileage may vary depending on your opinions on heavy metal album covers, but its a pretty ridiculous costume out of context. All Im saying is, when an actor has to go through eight hours a day of makeup, wear three-foot-long fiberglass horns that give him back pain and then soak it all off in the tub for an hour afterward to avoid the adhesive literally tearing his skin off? That costume better be fucking undeniably cool. At least make the chin look less like a pair of balls that spent too long in a sauna.

Pretty Much Everybody in Batman & Robin

Mark off your bingo card, because here come the bat-nipples in a story about bad costuming. Joel Schumachers Batman & Robin boasted a genuinely star-studded cast, and gave them all some of the most wince-worthy footage of their careers. The sidekicks Robin and Batgirl got off easy, maybe accidentally benefiting from a little less attention than the main heroes and villains. Their costumes, in retrospect, are regular stupid and clear remnants of the 1990s aesthetic. Suits like George Clooneys, with perhaps the most famous vestigial nipples in all of cinema? Or Arnold Schwarzeneggers Mr. Freeze getup, that looks like something from a commercial Eric Wareheim directed for an air-conditioning company? Those are lasting misses. 

You could argue that Catwoman looking like she's a fetish pinup from the Nightmare Before Christmas universe isnt exactly off-brand, but having to get baby-powdered into a latex suit every day cant feel particularly powerful.

Actually, Pretty Much All Batmen

Really, when it comes down to it, costuming up as the Caped Crusader is rarely a pleasant experience. The Dark Knights suit, like the T-shirts bearing his logo, seem to be something that people constantly think looks much cooler than it actually does. Its the leather duster of superhero costumes. Christian Bale probably got off the best, but its rare to find another ex-Batman that doesnt have a couple gripes about the suit. Val Kilmer probably felt a little less like a lithe, stealthy superhero and master of martial arts when he couldn't stand up or sit down without assistance. Another way to make someone feel embarrassed while playing a very powerful character? Make them wear a much less battle-ready motion-capture suit like Ben Affleck did in Batman v. Superman, which he called “the most humiliating, ridiculous thing in the world.” Maybe they all would have been better off wearing hockey pads after all.

Sean Connery in Zardoz

20th Century Studios

If you came here looking for it, here it is. Some pictures are worth a thousand words. Others, just a confused, disgusted silence.

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