Every Time RFK Jr. Was a Worse Husband Than Larry David

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Every Time RFK Jr. Was a Worse Husband Than Larry David

Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s presidential campaign has been one disaster after another — not just because he’s in the suboptimal position of being a Democrat running against a Democratic incumbent president, but also because his platform reads like a hastily-assembled collage of anti-vaxxer bumper stickers. That said, RFK Jr.’s candidacy is still of interest to comedy fans mainly because his wife is Cheryl Hines, the actress best known for playing Cheryl David, Larry David’s wife (and eventually ex-wife) on Curb Your Enthusiasm. 

As a result, a lot of fans have viewed Kennedy’s recent public screwups through a Curb lens. Like when he first announced his candidacy, following an introduction from Hines…

…only to abruptly leave the stage and get caught on a hot mic scrambling to obtain a paper copy of his speech because the version on the teleprompter was “upside down.” It didn’t take long before folks on social media added the jaunty Curb Your Enthusiasm music to the video. Sadly, there was no video footage of the campaign dinner that was interrupted by a voluminous fart, otherwise it surely would have gotten the same treatment. 

Perhaps it’s not fair to compare an actress’ real-life partner with their fictional, HBO-owned counterpart. But it is more than a little funny that Hines’ actual husband is seemingly a way shittier spouse than Larry David, TV’s most amoral misanthrope. For example, one of the most inarguably offensive moments in Curb was when Larry stole a pair of shoes from an exhibit at a Holocaust museum.

It’s hard to top that level of galling callousness to one of the worst atrocities in human history. But Kennedy was up for the challenge! In 2022, he spoke at an anti-vaccine rally and suggested that modern-day health regulations were more oppressive than Nazi Germany, positing, “Even in Hitler’s Germany, you could cross the Alps into Switzerland; you can hide in an attic like Anne Frank did.”

Not surprisingly, his suggestion that Anne Frank had it super-easy because she didn’t have to get inoculated or wear a mask while shopping at Trader Joe’s didn’t go over well. The comment prompted widespread condemnation, including from Hines herself, who wrote (in a now-deleted Tweet) that his speech was “reprehensible and insensitive,” adding, “His opinions are not a reflection of my own.”

Kennedy attempted to make things right by offering Hines… a separation? Or at least an announcement of one. Apparently this was done to “shield her from scrutiny of his political statements.” But given the persistent rumors that Kennedy is a notorious “womanizer,” which Kennedy’s friends allegedly warned Hines about prior to their marriage, one can’t help but wonder if this was really so altruistic.

And speaking of alleged philandering, before Hines came along, Kennedy “proposed to second wife Mary Richardson while still married to first wife Emily Black.” And during his marriage, he reportedly kept a “secret diary” cataloging his various sexual conquests, which he blamed on “lust demons.” Say what you will about Larry David, but he remained faithful to his wife, with the exception of the times he tried to capitalize on his 10th anniversary present. And even then, he didn’t try to blame it all on evil spirits. 

After Kennedy’s second wife committed suicide in 2012, two years after he had filed for divorce, Kennedy waged a “bitter” legal battle with her family in order to maintain possession of the body, which he wanted to be buried in the Kennedy family plot. He won, but after the funeral, Kennedy had his late wife’s body dug up and transferred to another section of the cemetery, because, as he told gravediggers at the time, it seemed less “crowded.”

This was after Kennedy had started dating Hines, a courtship that, oddly, began with him asking for the real Larry David’s “permission,” which would seem antiquated, if not for the fact that initiating a courtship by seeking the consent of a grown woman’s fake TV husband was never a thing.

Cheryl David broke up with her husband for paying more attention to a cable TV repair than her panicked phone call from a turbulent airline flight. Can you imagine if Larry was A) still technically married to another woman; B) fought tooth and nail for control over her corpse; and C) quietly exhumed her body on a whim? 

And while Cheryl David may not have been a huge fan of many of Larry’s friends, at least they weren’t bad enough to warrant some sort of banning. But Hines had to flat-out forbid Kennedy from “communicating with far-right agitators Steve Bannon and Alex Jones,” aka the Jeff Greene and Richard Lewis of the white supremacist media world. 

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter (if it still exists by the time you’re reading this).

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