20 Nick Kroll Quotes To Get You Through The Day

Nick Kroll has put his time in on creating some memorable quotes from his countless characters on Kroll Show, his work on The League, Big Mouth, Parks & Rec, Oh Hello and countless other projects. Let's take a stroll down memory lane and remember some of the best lines from one of comedy's heaviest hitters.

20 A Typical European Lunch

“Lunch is usually something cool like cigarette, two-three bottle of red wine and then like a bowl of heavy cream.”

- A European: Kroll Show

19 Steel Magnolias

“This right here, this is the actual set from the 2005 revival of Steel Magnolias mounted right here at the Lyceum Theater. Steel Magnolias, first a play, then a movie, then again, a play. The Broadway equivalent of moving back in with your parents.”

- Gil Faizon: Oh Hello On Broadway

18 Ruxin’s Troll Face

“She looks like she belongs on a beer poster, and I look like the guy who makes you answer riddles before you cross a bridge.”

- Ruxin: The League

17 Orpah Winfrey

“Orpah Winfrey said no!? “

- Big Liz: Kroll Show

16 A Cuddle And A String Cheese

"We should like totally cuddle after I get a string cheese from the garage"

- Lola Skumpy: Big Mouth

15 Mom Threw Away My Gift Certificate

“I don’t know what my actual birthday is because my mom threw away my gift certificate.”

- C-Czar: Kroll Show

14 Ruxin’s Defenses

“My defenses are looking weaker than a drunk single girl in her thirties at her little sister's wedding.”

- Ruxin: The League

13 I’m Going To Do Sex On A Lady

"I'm going to do sex on a lady, and a lady is going to do sex on me."

- Coach Steve: Big Mouth

12 Volcano Head

“In college, my nickname was volcano head because I would suck guys off and they would just erupt.”

- Big Liz: Kroll Show

11 A Date With Intercourse

“I guess I’ve got a date… A date with intercourse.”

- Bryan LaCroix: Kroll Show

10 My Oral Office

“I’m gonna turn my mayoral office into my ‘oral’ office. Boom! Thought of it a second ago, had to pop back in.”

- The Douche: Parks & Recreation

9 The Crab Cab Game Show

“If you answer this question correctly this crab could be yours.”

- Fabrice Frabrice: Kroll Show

8 Big Liz Gets Personal With Pretty Liz

“I’m trying to imagine the different guys who have probably on your stomach that you would then scoop that into your vagina, like using a piece of paper.”

- Big Liz: Kroll Show

7 Rudy Giuliani

“But Rudy Giuliani, he truly was the hero of 9-11 because no one else was mayor that day.”

- Gil Faizon: Oh Hello On Broadway

6 A Squid In My Exit

“I went to Nurse Teacher and put a squid in my exit, so I’m good to go.”

- Bryan LaCroix: Kroll Show

5 A Test Message

“OK shut up. I just got a test message.”

- Bobby Bottleservice: Kroll Show

4 Mall Of America After A Snowstorm

“Gina's gotten plenty of satisfaction. Have you seen Adrian Peterson? That dude is plowing her like the Mall of America parking lot after a snowstorm.”

- Ruxin: The League