Nicolas Cage Is Down For A Musical (So We're Picking Which One)
The man of the hour Nicolas Cage recently mentioned in an interview how he would totally be down to do a musical, for a change. In his exact words:
“One of the stars that I really admire from the Golden Age is Tony Curtis. I liked that he could do something like The Boston Strangler, but he could also do Some Like It Hot or Sweet Smell Of Success. He was this gifted talent that could do comedy and drama. Right now, I’m excited that the comedy is back on the menu. It hasn’t been there for, gosh, 15 years. That’s nice that I may have the opportunity to do more comedy. But I’ve never done a musical. That would be something that I would be curious about.”
To that, Mr. Cage, we say “Finally! Face/Off The Musical!”
Cage has shown that he can do everything: From action blockbusters to playing brooding pig owners to impersonating John Travolta impersonating himself, somehow. Which is no mean feat, so of course he can do a musical. After all, let's not forget that the man can sing:
As well as pull a couple of the ol' body shakes:
With Cage's colorful repertoire in mind, let’s see if we can find the perfect musical for the man who once ate a live cockroach because he will literally do anything.
Orin, Little Shop of Horrors
Originally played by Steve Martin in the 1986 film, creepy and sadistic dentist Orin Scrivello will be the perfect character for someone like Cage to take on in an (overdue) remake of the classic musical. It's also a horror, and a comedy horror at that. Right up his alley, then.
Yep! Yep yep yep, we say yes to a Cage surrounded by some nitrous oxide and peeking into people’s mouths while singing his heart's song. In fact, this role might be a little too easy for him.
Maybe then …
A Cat, in CATS
Tell us you don’t want to see Cage licking his … tail and making ‘meow’ sounds at the camera/us. Tell us your absolute stinking lies.
He would be hilarious. He would be fabulous. He would acquire instant gay icon status.
Alas, since CATS just had a remake, we won’t be holding our breath for such a marvelous sight any time —
The Cowardly Lion, The Wizard of Oz
Rejoice! For there is still time (and hope!) to see Cage in a furry costume once more!
Eddie, The Rocky Horror Picture Show
We can think of no better actor to take a shot at Meatloaf’s iconic portrayal of Eddie.
It’s kind of like Orin’s character in Little Shop of Horrors — what with the bike and the leathers and the goofy eyes. Jeez, Cage has played a biker with a face literally on fire. Of course, he can pull off Eddie (and it could be refreshing seeing Cage being axed, for once).
Also, Meatloaf sang “Bat Out of Hell.” Given how Cage quietly became the world's next greatest vampire actor, playing Eddie would be like paying homage to his own career, in a meta kind of way. Very Cage-y, no doubt.
Every character, Dance of the Vampires
It would make sense for Cage to play a vampire in a musical. It would make even more sense for Cage to play every character in a vampire musical.
Sigh. If only we could have all these movies. Ultimately though, we have no choice but to stan the one true musical, perfect for The Cage:
Face/Off, The Musical
Seriously, has anyone forgotten this scene?
It’s practically a musical already.
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Top Image: Paramount Pictures