Reminder: Captain Picard Is A Robot Now
Season two of the sci-fi series/baffling 9/11 conspiracy theory Star Trek: Picard comes out in just over a month, and judging from the recently-released trailer, this season will find pop-culture icon Jean-Luc Picard traveling back in time to the (more production-friendly) year 2024. Why? Either because of some alien threat, or who knows, maybe Picard just wants to check out one of those much-ballyhooed Avatar sequels; we'll have to wait and see.
Even those of us who watched the entirety of the first season may have forgotten about one particular wacky twist that was thrown in at the end – and for those of you who never saw it at all, well, we think you should be informed of this ridiculous change.
In the final episode of season one, Picard, now a former admiral and current hooch peddler (or winemaker, if you will) friggin' dies. But since he's on a planet home to a bunch of androids and also Data's human brother, rather than let old man Picard – who, canonically, is 94-years-old – pass away in peace, they transfer his consciousness into an android body. Thankfully, the synthetic body also looks exactly like Patrick Stewart, lest the producers attempt to save a few bucks by plopping Picard's brain into, say, a robotic Howie Mandel.
Picard's worries that he is now immortal are quickly abated by the news that this new bod is, not unlike an iPhone battery, scheduled to die in a few years. They also make sure that he will still be as tired and immobile as a regular senior citizen, so he won't have to "adjust" to anything new – and so the show presumably won't have to CGI Patrick Stewart doing backflips and tornado kicks in future episodes.
Admittedly, the synthetic body is more like that of a replicant in Blade Runner and "nearly indistinguishable from human bodies." But this still leads to yet more questions, like if Data's brother sculpted an exact replica of Picard, how seriously did he take that job? Did he have to perfectly copy his genitals? And if not, won't it be weird for Picard to now have an entirely different, wholly synthetic set of genitals? These are the questions season two should but likely won't answer. Cowards.
You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter!
Top Image: CBS Studios