This Gear Is Hot, Hot, Hot
This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
At a certain point, we all outgrow living with our mothers, but not all of us outgrow going outside in clothing that's completely unsuitable to the weather. Without your mother nagging you to put on a jacket, you might catch your death of cold (okay, probably not, but you'll be really uncomfortable), so allow us to replace your mother, from reminding you what a special muffin you are to strongly encouraging you to bundle up. To that end, we've rounded up some of the coolest winter weather gear around so you can face the elements in style and security. And clean your room, for heaven's sake.
Get a heated jacket for the price of a dumb regular jacket at your usual department store. Where would you be without our bargains? Not in a heated jacket, that's for sure.
This scraper not only heats up to efficiently scrape off that pesky ice but also has a flightlight for use at night, leaving you no excuses to endanger yourself and others by driving with an icy windshield. You know we worry about you.
Feel the power of blunt force heat! This heater works nicely to warm you up when you enter the mudroom or melt the snow off your boots before you go inside. Don't you dare go tracking that stuff through the house.
This programmable heater will ensure you always walk into a warm room. It packs 350W of heating power, but it stays cool to the touch so you can safely move it around your home. We wouldn't want you burning your little fingies.
This 1,000W personal space heater that looks like a mini fireplace will provide you all the comforts of home without the responsibility of taking care of an actual house fire.
Leave it to the Swedes to come up with elegant heating solutions like Värme. This portable heater will warm you up and has a detachable hand warmer if you need to go outside.
Paying for your own heat sucks. This cozy little space heater will save you money on your heating bill and diffuse essential oils and humidify the air. Your furnace could never.
Warm up right down to your li'l piggy toes with heated socks, because not even your mom wants to deal with your cold feet.
Stop contributing to the eco-terrorism of disposable handwarmers. Just snap the little disc inside these reusable hand warmers to heat them up and then boil them to get them back to room temperature. (Counterintuitive, we know, but don't argue with science.)
Cozy and classy, these leather gloves will make you look like one of Elizabeth Bennet's gentleman callers. Mom definitely approves.
Slide these liners inside those gloves and experience peak coziness with just the click of a button.
These heated gloves have a special trick -- they're also touchscreen-sensitive, so you have no excuse not to text your mother back.
These gloves would be toasty even without the heating system, thanks to their high-retention insulation, but with three power settings, they'll keep your fingers warm even while you're stuck on a chair lift for 45 minutes in a nor'easter.
Sale Price: $87
You don't have to give up your fashionable fall jackets for the Michelin Man look just because it's snowing. The Torch 2.0 wraps into your coat and uses an adjustable remote to dispense heat directly to your core, turning your moto jacket or hoodie or whatever you kids wear these days into a winter coat in no time.
Keep your core nice and cozy with this stylish, hooded vest that looks like something those NBA players you love so much might wear. It's also very practical because it heats up!
This slim jacket is like the Bear Grylls of jackets. It has a carbon fiber heating mechanism, a detachable hood, a face mask, and much more. We didn't finish reading the description. You know how hard small print is for us these days.
Prices subject to change.