Don't Be Cheap On This, Hollywood. No One Should Get Sick Making A Movie.

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The continually-updating guidelines we see about social distancing aren't going away anytime soon, and there are just some environments that are never going to go back to the way they were. Among those are definitely film sets, and with good reason. Let's just say buffet-style craft services tables are the least of the worries.

Movie sets, for starters, are pretty gross. We've written over and over again about it, and the stories keep getting nastier -- and that's the stuff they're doing on purpose. Now we've got to reevaluate what kind of sense it makes to set up rows of portajohns around the corner from food and next to a bunch of power tools. That's the equipment angle, and over on the people-centric side of things, it's really going to affect how jobs get done. Fewer people on set, coupled with shorter workdays, should help minimize the risk of infections happening in the workplace for everybody involved. There are even going to be specific jobs that change dynamically -- such as intimacy coordinators, previously employed for sex scenes, being charged with handling the simple element of touch.

This is, however, going to make shoots take longer and potentially add millions of dollars to the cost of filming. The Los Angeles Times made a big deal out of that already, but what they seem to be overlooking is that nobody really seems to be surprised by dollar figures at movies anymore. If tomorrow we got an announcement that they're working on a live-action Paw Patrol movie and it's going to cost $300 million, very few people would bat an eye at that. Hollywood accounting has always been bullshit to the point that Return Of The Jedi has never made a profit. Do you think they can't, and won't, just abracadabra that expense away? What's extra million on top of that to ensure everyone's safety? Will Smith's trailer costs twice that.

OSHA already loves waltzing around sets, and now there's gonna be another encyclopedia worth of guidelines to follow. Nobody should catch corona while making a movie about it, which is an entirely plausible thing that could happen. Or, you know, we just fundamentally change what film and television become.

Top Image: McRonny/Pixabay

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