With Super Tuesday behind us and with not much of anything being any clearer, let's turn to some weird-ass endorsements, shall we? Specifically, this one by legendary Sonic Youth frontwoman Kim Gordon, who people in their late-thirties were thrilled to learn was still alive. In a baffling turn, the alternative rock icon has gained some serious "Mom who just discovered TikTok" vibes. The video is the closest we'll get to answering the question of what Kurt Cobain would be like if he were still alive, and that answer is "not suddenly racist like we'd fear, but not as cool as we'd hope." And I have some questions about it.
1. Why are there video game sound effects?
2. Is this her kitchen? Does Kim Gordon really own an Empire Red KitchenAid stand mixer? Imagine Kim Gordon working a KitchenAid stand mixer. My mind is already blown and she hasn't even started with the hastily scrawled cue cards.
3. What were those cards written with anyway? I thought it was Sharpie, which would be the easiest and therefore most punk medium, but those are brush strokes. Who the intentionally sloppy "Medicare For All" calligraphy when there must be a Sharpie in that well-stocked kitchen?
4. What brand of flour is that? Is it blacked out? Why would they blackout the brand of the flour that isn't even being used to bake this cue card cake instead of pushing it six inches to the right? Why bother blacking out that brand when that is clearly an Empire Red KitchenAid stand mixer? WHO DO YOU WORK FOR, KIM?!
5. Which color is which issue? They were black and white when they went in there, but freedom magic turned them into a rainbow. Green New Deal is probably green, but what color is Ban For-Profit Prisons? Can someone with synesthesia help me out here?
6. I was expecting the cake to come out of the oven with those colors mysteriously arranged into a pro-Bernie message. I was not expecting it to come out fully frosted and airbrushed. Is it elves? Freedom Magic Airbrush Elves?
Dibs on that for a band name.
Manna remains wholly ignorant of any music created after 2005 on Twitter.