The New Pee-wee Herman Movie is Insanely Dark

Attention millionaires: finance this project
The New Pee-wee Herman Movie is Insanely Dark

Not everything from the '80s has stood the test of time, which is why you're reading this article instead of reciting Poison lyrics to your ALF doll. But some icons from the Reagan-era are still thriving even today, including the beloved character Pee-wee Herman, played by Paul Reubens. In 2010, Pee-wee's live show was revived on Broadway, in 2016 there was a new Pee-wee movie on Netflix, and now Reubens is going on a live tour to celebrate the 35th anniversary of Pee-wee's Big Adventure-- which also happens to be the 35th anniversary of every child alive in the '80s publicly soiling themselves at the sight of Large Marge.

Now it seems as though we might be getting a new Pee-wee movie, and it sounds depressing as hell. According to The Hollywood Reporter, he's been pitching a new script called The Pee-wee Herman Story, in which "Pee-wee gets sent to a mental hospital for shock treatment" to treat "his alcoholism." Which is pretty dark, but at least might explain why Pee-wee thinks his furniture is alive. The script, which has been in the works since the '90s, also finds him becoming an "unlikely yodelling star" and moving to Hollywood where pills and booze turn him "into a monster."

While that sounds interesting, the movie has a few hurdles to overcome. For one, Reubens wants to use de-aging technology to retain the character's youthful appearance. And due to content concerns, Netflix wants nothing to do with it. The proposed budget is just $15 million, and Reubens has already locked down $10 million from a Pee-wee superfan. Even more intriguing, Reubens approached the Safdie brothers, the filmmaking duo behind the anxiety-inducing Adam Sandler drama Uncut Gems, to direct. And they're "considering" it. So, if all goes well, we'll hopefully one day we'll get to see a movie where a drugged-out Pee-Wee pawns his beloved red Schwinn in order to place ludicrous sports bets.

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