People Are Horny For Pictures Of Xbox Prototype Port Holes

Gamers are so horny for the next generation of consoles that they're getting all worked up at the mere sight of holes on the back of what may or may not be a prototype of the next Xbox.

We apologize for publishing such blatantly pornographic imagery.

Curry Panda/NeoGAFWe apologize for publishing such blatantly pornographic imagery.

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The obsession began earlier this month, when graphics card manufacturer AMD inexplicably showed off a fake rendering of the upcoming Xbox. Fans soon worked themselves into a frighteningly horny lather over the two USB ports and the single HDMI port, so AMD had to clarify that they messed up by accidentally releasing fake pictures. But now it looks like we might have real pictures. Pictures that everyone desperate to begin the next generation has been staring at, discussing, and admiring -- even knowing that, by this time next year, those gaps yearning to be filled with thick plugs will be fully stuffed and permanently facing the wall behind the TV.

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GamesRadar headlined their coverage, "New Xbox Series X Images Leak, Confirms HDMI Out Port." Yes, they are celebrating the momentous news... that you'll be able to connect your videogame console to a TV. That's what that means. GameRant got a little overzealous when they stated that, while the front of the console is the same as it is in pictures officially released by Microsoft, "the back of the console is where things get interesting." No. No, they do not. This isn't a mullet that's business in the front and party in the back. It's a black box with some holes in it. Not a single part of it is interesting.

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Gizmodo reported that someone on Twitter actually registered the serial number on the back of the alleged prototype with Microsoft's website and, to their surprise, it worked. It wound-up registering as "non-specific" Microsoft hardware. That all but confirmed that this might be a real prototype, thus providing everyone who's been feverishly following this story with the material they needed to finally ejaculate.

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