Original Jurassic Park Cast Will Try To Save Jurassic World

Bring back Dennis Nedry, you cowards.
Original Jurassic Park Cast Will Try To Save Jurassic World

Sam Neill, Laura Dern, and Jeff Goldblum have all returned to the Jurassic Park series in various capacities since their collective involvement in the original movie back in 1993. There's even been some overlap, with Dern and Neill both appearing in Jurassic Park III: The One Too Dull To Remember It Even Exists. But never have all three shared the screen in a Jurassic Park movie since the original. That'll soon change, as it's been announced that they're set to appear in Jurassic World III: The One Where We Try To Redeem This Shambling Corpse Of A Reboot.

The series has changed a bit since 1993. The dinosaurs are off the island now. None of the characters are likable or memorable. The CG effects have somehow gotten worse, to the point where today the dinosaurs all look like they have the muscular elasticity of a Looney Tunes character slamming into a wall. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom's primary villainous dinosaur was a genetically bred super soldier that had more in common with Solid Snake than any actual dinosaur. There's a logical flow to how the series has progressed, but none of it has coalesced into something that doesn't feel like a manifestation of the original film's moral -- just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Original Jurassic Park Cast Will Try To Save Jurassic World
Universal Pictures
"I, uh, said it better."

This has become a series exclusively for people who want to be reminded of how much they liked the first movie. It's the curdled soul of Hollywood reference culture eating its own tail -- a velociraptor ouroboros, if you will. And what better way to remind folks of what they liked 26 years ago than by bringing back the three principal actors from it so they can wander around pointing out the absurd evolutionary changes the series has undergone? "The dinosaurs wouldn't shoot guns in our movie!"

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