The Heavy Petting Movie Poster Couldn't Get A Real Dog In The Room?
Heavy Petting is not a movie about Malin Akerman getting felt up. Well, it sort of is, but it's mostly about a dog that stands in the way of true love. Someone took two things everyone loves, ruined them both, and called it a film. And it doesn't matter, because everyone reading this constitutes literally the first people to know this movie exists. Even the "Official Website" link on Wikipedia redirects to an Asian page about bank cards, because again, we are the first people to ever try to learn anything about this film, and that includes the people who made its posters. Here's one of those:
Anchor Bay Entertainment"Our in-flight movie is Heavy Petting, which means yes, you died hours ago and this is Flight 666 to Hell."
The poster doesn't advertise much. "This is a movie about a dog," it seems to say. And yet right away, the poster has failed, because based on that image, we are utterly unconvinced that the film features a real dog. It's such a bad composite that it's not clear whether it's supposed to look like the dog is pinching her nipple. "Probably?" you might think, since its paws are on her boob, directly under the words Heavy Petting. "I hope not," you might also think.
In later versions of the poster, they re-Photoshopped the dog to make it look 10 percent more present while it licks the beautiful, talented, creatively unfulfilled actress Malin Akerman.
Anchor Bay Entertainment"... and it's gonna get ruff." -- a cry for help from an almost certainly suicidal copywriter.