12 Famous People You Didn’t Notice Died In 2017 (Part 1)

Blatty was a contestant on Groucho Marx's You Bet Your Life. He pretended to be an Arab prince, complete with a fake accent. That wasn't a running theme on You Bet Your Life or anything, that was ... just something he did.

This was back in the days when doing something super racist on national TV was still seen as a smart career move.

Blatty won 10 grand on the show, and used the money to quit his day job so he could focus on writing full-time. What we're saying is clearly that the offensive foreign accent you do for your friends at work might be profitable some day.

Who?

Eugene Cernan, astronaut.

How?

Undisclosed.

His Story:

Throughout the course of world history, 12 men have planted their boots on the lunar surface. The very last was Cernan, during the Apollo 17 trip in 1972.

Gene actually had a chance to go to go to the moon earlier in his career, as a pilot on the Apollo 16 mission. He turned it down because he would settle for nothing less than being the captain of the mission. His persistence eventually paid off, and Gene found himself in charge of Apollo 17. The crew spent three days on the surface, where Gene carved his daughter's initials in the dust. Side note: That's why your own daughter is so very disappointed in that sweater you got her for Christmas.

NASAThose three letters scrawled in the dust will likely outlast humanity, in case that gesture wasn’t cool enough yet.

As they left the moon, Gene said, "As I take man's last step from the surface, back home for some time to come -- but we believe not too long into the future -- I'd like to just [say] what I believe history will record: That America's challenge of today has forged man's destiny of tomorrow. And, as we leave the Moon at Taurus-Littrow, we leave as we came and, God willing, as we shall return, with peace and hope for all mankind. Godspeed the crew of Apollo 17." He died at age 82.

See you, space cowboy.

Who?

Norma McCorvey.

How?

Heart failure.

Her Story:

McCorvey was "Jane Roe" in the infamous Roe v. Wade case. She had a troubled childhood growing up in the '60s: She was a runaway, married when she was 16, and had two children she gave up for adoption. When she became pregnant for the third time, she wanted to get an abortion. She couldn't afford to travel to a state where it was legal, but her attorney put her in touch with two female lawyers seeking to build a case to legalize abortion in Texas -- the hardest thing on Earth anyone could ever attempt to do, outside of practicing speech therapy in Boston. But hey, they won! Well, court cases take a really long time, and when the ruling finally came, McCorvey had already given birth, but still, yay.

McCorvey would do a bit of a heel turn before dying at 69. After being baptized by Reverend Philip Benham, a leader in anti-abortion sentiments, she started agitating against abortion. Playing both sides of the field like that is a good way to ensure a spot in Heaven, we suppose.

Who?

Clyde Stubblefield, musician.

How?

Kidney failure.

His Story:

Even if you're not a big James Brown fan, you've definitely heard Clyde Stubblefield's drumming. The beat to Brown's 1970 song "Funky Drummer" is far and away the most sampled riff in hip-hop history. Here are just a few of the nearly 1,000 songs that sample Stubblefield's drums: "Mama Said Knock You Out," "Fuck Tha Police," "Fight The Power," and the Powerpuff Girls theme song.

Clyde never got a writing credit on any of those songs, so he didn't see much in the way of money when his sample exploded in the '80s. But he was much more than a 20-second snippet. Rolling Stone placed him at #6 on its list of the 100 greatest drummers of all time. When his health began to deteriorate a few years back, Prince stepped in and handled $90,000 of his medical bills. Prince was a Jehovah's Witness, and also possibly a celestial, penis-based alien life form, so he had a few weird beliefs about modern medicine, but he believed in Stubblefield enough to set his religion aside and write a big-ass check.

Who?

Joseph Wapner, judge on the TV show The People's Court.

How?

Most likely complications from strokes.

His Story:

Wapner was the lovable judge who presided over the first version of The People's Court, which ran from 1981 to 1993. If you wanted to watch someone slowly realize they were wrong in front of millions of viewers, then this was the show for you.

Wapner's reason for doing the show was to educate people about the legal process and to show regular folks how they should behave if they ever found themselves in a courtroom. A single look at any courtroom (or indeed, any reality TV program) will show that he was wildly, wildly unsuccessful, but we shouldn't hold that against him.

How?

Natural causes.

His Story:

Barris was the producer behind some of the biggest game shows of all time, and though he mostly worked behind the scenes, he did get in front of the camera for The Gong Show once, whereupon he won everyone's hearts.

His television endeavors weren't his only achievements. He also wrote the hit song "Palisades Park," and ... claimed to have been a CIA assassin? The CIA has released a statement saying, "It sounds like he might have been standing too close to the gong all those years." We can't think of a single time when the CIA was dishonest, so it's hard to know which side to trust here.

Krause never stopped putting together great teams, most recently for the Diamondbacks. As his friend Michael Jordan could have told him, transitioning to baseball doesn't always leave the impact you hope for, but all the same, Krause was an undeniable force in the sporting world.

A self-admitted "hothead" who loved his younger brother, Murphy confessed to going a little way too far in his duties as Eddie's bodyguard. As Charlie himself recalled, "There was 10,000 people laughing, and you that one joker that wanna try and squeeze a lemon. Fuck you. I don't even want you to be there. And I took it as a personal crusade, and they were like, 'You know what, you're a little overzealous with your job.' So, that is how I ended up not doing that anymore." Understated and refined as always, Charlie.

Who?

Stanislav Petrov, Soviet officer.

How?

Pneumonia.

His Story:

In 1983, Petrov was working in the Soviet Air Defense Forces. He minimized his game of Minesweeper to see that five intercontinental missiles were on their way from the U.S.

Which ... was bad, you see.

The protocol was to launch a retaliatory strike right away, but a voice in the back of Petrov's head said something wasn't right. Maybe he didn't feel like ending the world that day. He diagnosed the warning as a glitch in the system. 23 minutes passed while the computer flashed "LAUNCH." 23 anus-quivering minutes. And he was right! It was a glitch. Some sunlight reflected off a cloud looked sorta like a missile to their computers. The Soviets showered Petrov with praise and rewards for saving the very world itself from- haha, no, they wrote him up for making a filing error when he was doing paperwork about averting Armageddon.

Still, we're all alive, and for that, we owe Petrov at least a solemn chest thump or two.

Check back for Part 2 tomorrow!

Justin has a fun podcast here. He also has a funny blog! Lisa-Skye is an Australian comedian. Find more of her at thelisaskye.com or @thelisaskye on the social media things.

It's never too late to start planning for your own funeral! Check out the book Funerals to Die For for some ideas.

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For more check out 20 Famous People You Didn't Notice Died In 2016 (Part 1) and 25 Famous People You Didn't Notice Died In 2016 (Part 2).

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