If you told us Tom Cruise sleeps inside a plastic bag at home every day, we'd fully believe it.
A moment later, Cruise's friend and two doctors walk in, and everyone's biggest concern is that they can see the dick of this guy who just cheated death itself. Anyway, the Mummy ends up getting captured midway through the movie, a plot development that probably feels familiar to anyone who wasn't in a coma between 2008 and now:
Universal Pictures, Marvel Studios, Warner Bros. Pictures, Eon Productions
At one point we also meet Russell Crowe, who plays Dr. Jekyll. As in the Dr. Jekyll, the one who turns into the villainous Mr. Hyde. Presumably Hyde is the one who smacks hotel clerks with phones and insists on singing in public.
Worst Animorphs ever.
The third act then finds an army of corpses rising and attacking the city -- though taking into consideration how Tom Cruise is in his 50s but has jet-black hair, works out like crazy, and spends most of this movie talking about how he boned someone more than 20 years younger than him, the sight of him fleeing a sea of rotting bodies ravaged by time accidentally becomes a powerful metaphor.
The ghost of Cruisemas Yet to Come.
Then in the very end, Tom Cruise basically lets the Mummy win and use him as the host body for the god of death -- but then he uses his new powers to kill her. So yes, Cruise now has ancient mummy powers, and will possibly develop an affinity for wearing toilet paper all over his body in the next movie he shows up in.