"All You Can Eat" Promotions Screw Servers Out Of Tips
We're not here to shit on the idea of eating as many appetizers, bread sticks, miniature shrimps, and/or bowls of Mongolian barbecue as you can. That's the American Way, goddammit. We simply feel that it's our duty to inform you that your intestines aren't the only ones suffering through these glutinous promotions.
Speaking of "duty" ...
You see, all-you-can-eat promotions bring in customers who normally don't eat out, because they're generally pretty cheap. We've all been there: You spend most of the week eating asparagus and butter sandwiches because that's all your broke ass can afford, and then along comes Olive Garden with a tantalizing offer of never-ending pasta for ten goddamned dollars. So you show up with an empty stomach, consume roughly two meals' worth of food, and then try to take what you can home. It's a steal ... especially from the servers who waited on you, whose earnings are disappearing at the same rate as the pasta bowls. Odds are if you were lured out of your home by the promise of a buttload of cheap food, you're not going to be leaving much of a tip. After all, Oliver Twist didn't slip a 20 into the jacket of the guy serving the gruel.