It's another universe, where Abraham Stark led the North against the Slave-Walkers.
Underneath the monument stand all the support beams holding aloft Lincoln's big marble butt. These pillars reside in an impressive underground hall, and the area smells and feels like a real cavern. So what can you find underneath the beautifully crafted memorial to one of our greatest historical figures? Dust, debris, stalactites, and graffiti. Lots and lots of graffiti.
"And if you go right, you'll find the hall of dick drawings and your-mom jokes."
Making a building can get really boring, it seems, as many of the construction workers spent their breaks making doodles on the concrete columns. The National Park Service refers to these drawings as "historical graffiti" -- a tactful choice, considering that some of these drawings are straight-up pornographic.