Umbutu's story would have been new, exciting, world-building and, most importantly, it would have featured lots and lots of aliens getting machete-chopped into invader-ceviche.
Batman v Superman Teased Batman's Juiciest Storyline
Batman v Superman currently has 28 percent on Rotten Tomatoes because it wanted to have its cake and eat it, too. How do you get two good guys to fight? The movie's answer was: don't. Instead, have them tussle for a second over a miscommunication that destroys a few abandoned buildings. No wonder the audience left feeling ripped off. That's like going to see Freddy Vs. Jason and watching them play checkers for an hour and a half.
Warner Bros. Pictures
"The title actually stands for 'Batman Views Superman.'"
The better film they teased us with:
That's a shame, because Batman v Superman had the real answer all along: Just feature a Batman that breaks the one rule he actually obeys -- no killing. But how on earth did he get to that point? The film even sets that up!
Warner Bros. Pictures
It's in that scene showing Alfred doesn't do laundry.
That right there is an old Robin suit in Batman's collection. It's been vandalized by the Joker, in a mocking reference to some past tragedy. It's easy to guess what that is: Years ago, Joker killed Robin, and that sent Batman over the edge. Now Batman will do anything in his pursuit for justice, including murder. That, sadly, turns Superman against his old friend and ally. Now we have a movie -- with character development, self sacrifice, and no bullshit "Martha" moment to defuse the whole thing.
We're not speculating on this one. Here's the director, Zack Snyder, saying, "In my mind, it was that Robin had died 10 years earlier during some run-in with a young Joker ... There had been loss and there had been sacrifice ... a dead Robin was helping us understand that he's been on quite a little journey."
Yes, it is. A hero, on a journey. Can you imagine that? So can we! f*****g show us.
Jacopo is the author of two novels you should be reading. Please get them here!
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