So there you go. Next time you're in New York, you can close Google Maps and conserve your phone battery for more important tasks, like snapping selfies with street lamps.

If you'd like to take in some papal porn firsthand (so to speak), good luck: the holy types at the Vatican open the Stufetta almost never, and some of the most risque frames -- such as the mid-rape of Minerva by Vulcan -- have been destroyed. Hilariously, at least one attempt at such censorship utterly backfired: An effort to cover up Pan's weird, index-finger-looking boner with white paint only succeeded in making it appear as if history's most famous satyr was packing a meat missile capable of rendering any nymph incapable of sitting for a week.

Tony Perrottet "Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's rude to point?"

Disappointingly, all he found was a small, stark room providing access to the building's air-conditioning valves. But, after presumably clearing out all the janitor skeletons, Gordon set straight to hauling in a full bar, groovy lighting, and leopard print bedding for, um, entertaining.

Thus was born the Love Lounge, and -- as the signatures on the walls can attest -- over the years it's been a happenin' hangout for the likes of Tim Allen, Michael Eisner, Roy Disney, and Steve Jobs, who preferred to call it the Meditation Room. Hey, whatever makes you feel better about masturbating at work, Steve.

Xiaxue If these walls could talk, they could tell you all about the Apple founder's dongle.

Sadly, Gordon eventually upgraded to an office not connected to the air vent room. That simply couldn't stand, however, so he transformed the space neighboring his new digs into the Love Lounge's spiritual successor, the Lucky 7 Lounge. Visitors are no longer forced to crawl through a cramped duct, instead entering via a sliding bookcase activated by a button hidden within a Shakespearean bust -- which is, of course, the proper way to enter a top-secret watering hole for animators and Batmen alike.

Xiaxue Why yes, he worked on The Incredibles. Why do you ask?

In order to enter the temple proper, you must cross over the "cycle of death and rebirth," which is a fancy metaphysical way to describe a horrific pit of ghostly hands that reach for you in seek of handouts (donations may be made in US Dollars, Thai baht, or fresh arterial blood).

Arnie Cooper "Or brains. Brains will do."

Believe it or not, the temple gets even more bizarre once you're inside. That's where Kositpipat has splashed the walls with elaborate murals depicting the destructive effects of worldwide greed and desire, a message that is bafflingly conveyed with the help of pop icons such as Michael Jackson, Freddy Krueger, Spider-Man, and freaking Kung Fu Panda.

Travel Photo Report "The road to hell is paved with the King of Pop and also Terminators." - Chalermchai Kositpipat

It's all fun and games until you round a corner and are greeted by a detailed depiction of the 9/11 attacks ... being perpetrated by Angry Birds. Right about now is when you might decide that perhaps the type of "enlightenment" Chalermchai Kositpipat really needs is a good ol' kick in the dick.

Travel Photo Report "I'ma enlighten your ass up."

That's right: Everything from their homes to the islands on which they're built is composed entirely from the totora plants that grow abundant and thick in the lake's shallow waters. Since the reeds lack the longevity of more durable, modern materials such as concrete or, say, cardboard, the islands must be replenished with fresh totora several times a year. While we might all lament our perpetual struggle to stay afloat in regard to bills and such, for the Uros life is a literal, perpetual struggle to stay afloat.

Enrique Castro-Mendivil/Reuters "This thing is made from fresh totora, right? Right?"

Though they list "lake" in the residence box on their tax returns and live in domiciles built from Ice Age materials, modernity is gradually creeping into the Uros' lifestyle. Solar panels adorn rooftops. Televisions chatter across the reeds. There's even a radio station, which breaks all the islands' latest (presumably reed-related) news.

They still maintain that whole "older than the sun" thing, though.

Enrique Castro-Mendivil/Reuters Admittedly, so would we.

America's most prominent Zero Milestone lies in Washington, D.C., commemorating the starting point of the first transcontinental motor convoy. While it was intended to be the radiating point for all measured distances in the nation, today it's a mostly forgotten hunk of granite -- though it would probably come in handy for getting a clear pic of the White House over the heads of other tourists:

Library of Congress, Roadside America Or possibly for opening a gateway to another dimension, if you know the correct incantation.

Other cities followed suit and designated their own Zero milestones. Tennessee's, for example, was unveiled by the creepy ghost twins from The Shining:

Federal Highway Administration  "Come play with us."

Similar markers can be found throughout the world. Obviously, nations other than America use pagan measurements, so theirs are generally known as Kilometer Zero. The one in Santiago, Chile, appears to argue that simplest is best:

Carlos yo/Wiki Commons It's OK if you click away, just be sure to come back after you book your flight to Chile.

While the Germans' girthy example is the milestone equivalent of an earsplitting Mustang driven by a former high school quarterback with inadequacy issues:

Angela Monika Arnold/Wiki Commons "Mile one? More like mile 10, if you catch our drift."

They're like Pokemon -- everywhere, fun to track down, yet fairly pointless in the grand scheme of things. Hell, they were largely pointless even back before the days of GPS, when an old-timey constable was stationed round-the-clock to guard the so-called London Stone:

McLeish "I say, good sir, I appear to be guarding a useless hunk of rock."

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