And finally, let's go ahead and bring this full circle with the article you all saw coming:
For the record, not all Hitler comparisons are unfair. On occasion, people do indeed act in ways similar to the evillest man in history. We at Cracked have done this ourselves in the past, comparing Hitler's rise to that of another well-known presidential candidate -- namely, Donald Trump. So between invoking Hitler and insulting the man, our chances of eventually advising Trump on his campaign are about 50/50.
They Are Utterly Obsessed With Hillary Clinton's Health
If you pay much attention to Twitter, you may have noticed the #hackinghillary hashtag trending some time ago. You'd be forgiven for thinking that this has something to do with the recent hacking of the Democratic National Committee's e-mails, or that Hillary Clinton made a career change after watching Swordfish late one night. In fact, this hashtag was about something much more serious: Clinton coughs sometimes, which clearly means she's going to die in office or something.
Unlike most of the items on this list, this one is particularly troubling, because its reach has become so broad. When Hillary Clinton, a 68-year-old person who has been campaigning nonstop for what -- 40 years? -- got sick with pneumonia in the middle of an event, everyone perked up. Little did the mainstream media know that Breitbart has been honed in on Clinton's health since January, pairing articles about it with the most hilarious photos they could find. And they have never, ever, ever let up.
The same Martin Shkreli who believes he can beat up Captain America.
For the record, despite claims from both Pharma Bro and Dr. Drew, this is all clear bullshit. As has been reported in the past, Clinton is perfectly healthy, and people just cough sometimes, we promise. But the bizarre focus on her health seems to imply something much more interesting, which is that Breitbart doesn't think Trump can win on policy alone. And now their chairman is part of Trump's crew, advising him on his campaign strategy and helping to craft the image that every American will see leading up to the November election. So if you see a campaign ad with Hillary in a swastika coffin, killed by her birth control, you'll know who was responsible.
When Jim Avery isn't throwing his money away on hopeless Kickstarter projects, he's tweeting out random crap on his Twitter account, or writing game news and reviews for GeekNifty.
Teachers: America's unsung heroes ... and secret drunks ... and all-around degenerates. To shed light on the dark side of this trusted profession, Cracked Podcast host Jack O'Brien, along with comedians and truTV's Those Who Can't cast members Maria Thayer (Abbey Logan) and Andrew Orvedahl (Coach Fairbell), will interview some real-life (probably anonymous) teachers, who will share all the filthy, outrageous, and hilarious tales from this supposedly squeaky-clean occupation. Get FREE tickets to this LIVE podcast here!
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