The Triton is a small device that literally sucks the oxygen out of water and spits it into your lungs, thus allowing you to stay underwater for hours without scuba gear. Simply slap down your credit card and gain instant access to all the best parts of Aquaman. You can talk to fish if you want, but they don't have much to say.
"You look like you're giving a blowjob to a handlebar mustache."
Why It's Bullshit:
The human body needs about 25 milliliters of pure oxygen with each breath, which you can get from 1.5 gallons of sea water. Now, a typical human takes about 15 breaths per minute, meaning that the teeny-weeny Triton would have to suck in and process 24 gallons of water per minute, assuming 100 percent efficiency. That's like asking you to drain a large aquarium by drinking all of its water through a straw. You have one minute.
Do we have pumps that can do that? Sure, but they're enormous and require a huge power supply, which altogether would make a Triton kit a hell of a lot bigger than a standard scuba kit.
Or you could just keep constantly swimming ... because if you don't, you'll die.