6 Actors Whose Offscreen Lives Are A Hilarious Surprise
Actors are not the same people as the roles they play. Even though this is literally the definition of acting, it's still somehow a little surprising to see an actor out in the real world, walking their dog instead of jumping away from their dog (because the terrorists dressed the bomb up like a schnauzer). Worse, sometimes these charlatans will insist on doing things that their most famous characters never would. It's disgusting, and should be illegal. For example ...
Hodor Is A Club DJ With Face Tattoos
Hodor, the Game Of Thrones character with immense strength and incredibly insecure passwords, is portrayed by actor Kristian Nairn. In real life, Nairn isn't a child-toting simpleton. OK. We can accept that, even if it is kind of hard to picture him as anything else.
We could see him carrying a mannequin. Maybe a large doll. Perhaps a tiny scarecrow. But that's about it.
Really, what else could he be? A small mountain? A rug model? A furniture-puncher? What other occupation could possibly fill a giant man's time?
Oh sweet, he's actually a DJ.
"Put your ho up in the dor, put your ho up in the dor."
This isn't some crazy side project he's doing to capitalize on his fame, either. Nairn has been DJ'ing for the past 20 years -- a career path which opened up after he volunteered to replace an ill colleague one night. Since then, he's traveled the world and worked with musicians such as Calvin Harris, the Scissor Sisters, and Alphabeat, and held a long-running residency at Belfast's famed gay club, Kremlin. As with many DJs, he's also a producer, and makes his own tracks. And you know what? They're pretty good.
They are dance tracks, though, so the lyrics are still mainly a single, oft-repeated word.
Leonard Nimoy Was A Nude Photographer
Leonard Nimoy was not Spock. He wrote a book about it. He also was Spock. He wrote a book about that, too. Suffice to say that his identity was at least somewhat defined by his work on Star Trek and his portrayal of the emotionless, hyper-logical Vulcan officer Spock.
This was the shooting star you've hitched yourself to, Leonard.
Spock was a largely sexless character -- a necessary contrast to his onscreen companion's endless pursuit of green ass. It'd be irrational to expect Nimoy to have the same sexless nature in reality, but few of us would anticipate just how much of an expert he was at nudity. It turns out he was an adept practitioner of nude photography.
This one's called "Self Portrait With Shekhina." That's Nimoy on the right.
As much we'd like to crack jokes about this all being an excuse to cobble together pointy-eared porn, it's not. The guy was a genuinely talented photographer. (Wait. "Vulcan ass-pinch." OK, that's it. That's the only joke.)
But for serious, he was a technically proficient photographer whose collections each had a distinct style and philosophy. He's explored the contrast between religion and femininity (NSFW), the relationship between model and photographer (NSFW), and the meaning of beauty and body image (NSFW).
If you're enjoying this for the boobs, that's wrong. Stop doing that.
Where did his love for the nude form come from? Tiresome locker room stories from Shatner? Or is it possible that Nimoy's comfort with bare asses originated during one of his few non-Star Trek roles, like this scene in the film Catlow, which featured his own extraordinarily bare ass grappling with Yul Brenner (NSFW)? Who can truly say? All we know is that we shouldn't entirely be surprised. After all, this is the Renaissance man behind the borderline-feral eroticism that was "The Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins."
If you're not aroused right now, there's nothing we can do to help you.
Dave Bautista Collects Lunchboxes
Dave Bautista's profile has increased in recent years thanks to his roles in Guardians Of The Galaxy and SPECTRE, but he's certainly been around for a while. Before he leapt into popular culture like a tatted-up Kool-Aid Man, he was a world pro wrestling champion, mixed martial artist, and general expert at hitting people.
And fair enough. When you're built like a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
But apparently, even big people have hobbies too, and Bautista fills his time with the decidedly small-person pursuit of collecting vintage lunchboxes.
By his own estimate, he has over 150 of the things, featuring iconic characters such as Superman, Green Hornet, and E.T. He also keeps them in a room nicer than any place we've ever lived.
Shelves? Walls? What is this, Versailles?
His passion is so well-known that director James Gunn even had a special lunchbox made for him as thanks for his work on Guardians Of The Galaxy.
"You could've paid me in lunchboxes. I'd have been cool with that, seriously."
His Twitter is also adorable, by the way.
You tell him his childlike joy is stupid and wrong. Let us know how poorly your skull heals after.
That's right, he spent the past half-decade scouring eBay and antique stores for a rare thermos flask like it was the Ark of the freaking Covenant. Suddenly, his lifelong dedication to martial arts training makes a lot more sense. It's all in preparation for an Ocean's Eleven-style heist to lift a rare piece of Golden Girls Tupperware out from under the nose of his arch-rival, the Undertaker.
Bob Barker Knows Karate
Through the countless years that he presented The Price Is Right, Bob Barker endeared himself to us all in his portrayal of an ageless wizard with an insatiable thirst for prices and dog birth control. But did you know that he's also a killing machine trained by none other than Chuck Norris?
"You take the three on the right. I've got the rest."
"Killing machine" might be a slight exaggeration now, on account of his 92 years, but Barker did genuinely study karate for decades. In what must have been some of the most surreal workouts ever witnessed, a pre-fame Norris would regularly tutor Barker in karate moves. Which -- as you'd certainly hope -- involved Norris kicking the shit out of the game show host in a myriad of ways. For all we know, the first time Barker heard the words "come on down" was from a nurse trying to coax his testicles down from their hiding place.
Want more evidence? Well, check this shit out: No less an authority than Fighting Stars confirms it.
To defend his country? Take punks by surprise? Slash prices?
Eventually, in what must have been a tender, piano-scored moment, Norris left Barker behind to begin his own journey toward getting turned into internet memes. But Barker kept on studying karate for the next 30-plus years. Think about that. While you were watching television, Bob Barker was doing karate. While you were driving to work, Bob Barker was doing karate. While you were thinking about karate, Bob Barker was doing karate. Holy shit, you guys, Happy Gilmore was a documentary.
Sadly, he's not karate-ing anymore, because again, 92. One axe kick could cause all of his limbs to fall off. Still, probably best to not piss him off.
Rick Steves Loves Weed
Rick Steves is a well-known travel writer, radio host, and television personality. If you had to describe his signature look in one word, you'd probably settle on "boring."
"Khaki" is another good choice.
He wears the same short-sleeved collared shirts that are only for sale in that secret store your dad likes, and he gets his hair cut for $11 at the place next door. And that's fine. That's what an NPR and PBS personality should look like.
What isn't boring about Rick Steves is his passion for dope. Indeed, he's a huge campaigner for marijuana legalization. He was one of the primary sponsors of I-502, the bill which legalized recreational amounts of pot in Washington state.
OK, so he's into the boring, organize-y parts of weed, but still.
He hasn't faced any real consequences for this. The disparity between his clean-cut profession and his stinky, red-eyed hobby will occasionally get him an angry letter from his readers, but what's the worst that could do? Make him chuckle aimlessly for 12 minutes? Marijuana advocacy just hasn't been that big a risk to his reputation, other than the suspicion we all have to have now when reading his reviews of kebab shops. Plus, his rejoinder to anybody hating on his love of murky dank nugs is rather hilarious. ("Once in a blue moon somebody will email me and say I know what you think about marijuana and we're not going to take your tours or read your guidebooks. And all I can think is Europe's going to be more fun without you.")
The Cigarette Smoking Man Is A Champion Water-Skier
By the time The X-Files first ended in 2002, the Cigarette Smoking Man had spent years lurking in the shadows, foiling Mulder and Scully with the sort of cold, ruthless demeanor that all chain smokers possess.
*eight minutes of incessant coughing*
In short, he's a character who doesn't move around too quick. Which makes it all the more surprising that the actor who portrays him -- William B. Davis -- is himself a champion water-skier.
We don't say "champion" lightly, either (never say "champion" lightly). Davis has won several awards and championships, including the 2004 Canadian Water Ski Championships in the age 65-70 category, and as of 2008, he held a world record for tricks by men his age. He's even written and directed his own short film about a retiree who takes up water skiing.
He was right to conceal the truth. Mulder couldn't handle knowing this.
Wow. If they make more X-Files, they'd be well-advised to include a lot more water chase scenes.
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