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"Never Rest" -- The British Farm Safety Video Full Of Murder And Ghosts
Island World
Farm safety isn't something you typically hear a lot about, but it's apparently a big fucking deal in the UK (where everyone is living inside of a Beatrix Potter story). So much so that they produced a farm safety video for kids titled "Never Rest: A Drama About Farm Safety For Children." The whole thing sounds sensible, but it plays out like it was written by R.L. Stine's meth head cousin.
After moving into their family's new farmhouse, two children immediately discover a grave with the word "Never" awkwardly scrawled above "Rest in Peace" -- because even rotting corpses aren't immune to sick burns. Luckily, the farmhand's kids are there to explain that the farm is haunted by the ghost of the old man who accidentally murdered his four kids via farm equipment almost a century ago. Which is probably what the realtor meant by "colorful."
Island World
"More people have died here than on Hershel's farm from Walking Dead."
Of course the kids start getting into accidents, just like the old-timey accidents that killed those other four kids. The kids in each timeline are played by the same actors, either implying that there's some sort of of curse at work here or the producers couldn't afford to hire more child actors after shelling out for those sweet sepia-toned shots.
Island World
"Are you sure we can't at least afford fake blood?"
One kid hits his head. Another falls off a wagon (a literal wagon; he doesn't start drinking or anything). And in one insanely graphic scene, a girl has her goddamn arm ripped off!
Island World
"NO, MY BUTTER-CHURNIN' ARM!"
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