The legs, which can weigh up to 13 pounds each, are a delicacy mostly enjoyed by the upper class in fancy restaurants where you probably have to wear clean pants. A pair of these biological jokes recently sold for $2,500. Part of the cost has to do with how difficult the chickens are to breed. They're hugely sensitive to changes in ambient temperature, so sometimes they simply don't feel like getting busy. Also, they lay fewer eggs than regular breeds, and the eggs they do lay have to survive those awful waffle-stompers first. It's almost -- almost -- as if nature doesn't approve of us slapping elephant feet on a chicken for shits and giggles. But that can't be true ...

There are scaleless snakes in the wild, but it's more of a genetic mutation. Of course, breeders saw these freaks and decided to breed for this specific trait, because they hate life and all that lives it. Now, there is controversy in the reptile-breeding community about whether or not this is a fair thing to do to an animal. And when the people who spend all day cajoling legless cold-blooded egg-layers into fucking each other are freaked out by something, you know it's legit.

Apart from generally looking like a nightmare sausage, the snakes are also completely defenseless. Scales offer flexible protection for snakes' body sacs, and without them, they're just ... well, body sacs. Giving them mice and other live food would be like serving a rodent snake pudding.

And if you're a rattlesnake (are you a rattlesnake?), being scaleless sucks on multiple levels. We can only assume that this dude has to eat by himself in the Snake Middle School cafeteria:

Tambako the Jaguar / GettyImages"Ssssssso lonely."

It isn't even technically a rattlesnake anymore. Rattles are modified tail scales, which cannot exist on a snake that is scaleless. Bummer! Sorry, buddy, we were curious! Sorry you have to live as the physical representation of our hubris!

Animals sold as "minipigs" are usually pot-bellied pigs that have been severely underfed to keep them nice and small for prospective buyers. They're also sold as babies, but marketed as fully-grown adults. They're branded as highly intelligent companions that can be easily litter-trained and fit in your pocket forever. Buyers are instructed by the breeder to feed them a very small amount of food to keep them little for as long as possible. And as an extra layer of "you can trust us," breeders often show their customers the pig's parents as proof of how eensy and/or weensy they'll stay. Too bad teacup pigs can breed as early as three months, when they're not even fully-grown. Not even close.

Beanstock Images / Design Pics / Getty ImagesPictured: close.

While the starvation diet prevents bones from growing, it doesn't slow organ growth, leading to health problems like obstructed breathing, skin and hoof issues, and a weak immune system. Also, poor breeding practices, like trying to net 100 piglets from a pair of siblings (blech), leads to terrifying inbred defects ... like not having an anus.

But the major issue that causes pet owners to give up their bacon bits is that they won't always fit in a teacup. They can grow to 50, 150, sometimes even 500 pounds. Teacup pigs are one of the most commonly abandoned pets in the world, because the exact kinds of people who don't do any research on an exotic pet before buying it are the same ones who would ditch that pet when they become inconvenient. They see celebutantes like Paris Hilton sporting Princess Pigelette in 2009, and rush out to grab themselves a living accessory.

HELLO! MagazineThe only creature that looks at her more lovingly is a gossip reporter with a deadline.

But don't hate on Hilton. She's one of the few who stuck by their pig:

Star MagazineTh-buhdee-th-buhdee-th-buhdee-the trend wasn't all, folks.

It's true what they say: Beauty is a curse. A much more horrifying curse than we initially thought. We thought they were talking about creeps bothering them in bars and stuff, not Bonitis.