Leonard Nimoy allegedly said, "The miracle is this - the more we share, the more we have."
Turns out what we all had last week were face spiders and lube.
Hugh Jackman purrs. It's another reason he got the role.
Notable Comment: "So I should rub purring cats all over me when I'm sick. Excellent."
Sauron has had many real-world incarnations, and it's happening again.
Notable Comment: "The orcs were trying to steal all of the jobs from hard working Gondorians!"
Though we don't recommend this for personal Predator-inspired sexy times. It's doubtful glow stick juice is hoo-hoo safe.
Notable Comment: "Why is it always lube? And why do they always have it readily available?"
Feel like there is stuff living on your face? Well, you're not wrong.
Notable Comment: "I don't like the strong implication that there are tarantulas in my face, Cracked."
"I always wanted more children, but...you have to work very hard to please them all. If you are making pizza, there is one who doesn't like cheese and another who hates tomato. Our chef sometimes looks so downhearted." -- Salma Hayek
Notable Comment: "Hey honey, what do you think about having another baby?" "I don't know, the maid, chef, and Nanny have their hands full as it is...."
The only difference is we'll never graduate and be able to move far away. The Internet is forever. Well, until a massive electromagnetic disruption wipes out the Earth's power grids...
Notable Comment: "Reddit should be wearing a fedora."
Notable Response to Notable Comment: "Nay, a trilby."
The problem of cars staying in your blind spot could soon become a thing of the past, thanks to a little innovation we like to call "adjusting your side mirrors correctly."
We need a modern day Houdini to re-debunk this crap in entertaining, spectacular fashion.
Notable Comment: "I think Sylvia Browne warrants more of a mention than her, since Sylvia has actually ruined lives. Remember the girls who were found confined in a basement for over a decade? Sylvia told one of the girls' mothers that the girl was dead. That woman went to her grave believing that her daughter had been murdered.
Sylvia Browne makes money doing this. She is the lowest form of human garbage."
We decided to throw a whole brand new Internet Party, because this last one was the best office get-together Digg's ever been shut out of.
The largest autism charity, Autism Speaks, has zero people with autism on its board and spends just around 4 percent of its resources to improve the lives of those with autism. 30 percent is spent trying to "cure" it. So tough luck, diseased people, make the best of it. We're fiddling with eugenics to ensure this doesn't happen anymore.
Notable Comment: "I hate that so many people think autism can be caused. It's a condition you're born with. Just crossed wires in the brain, not the result of vaccines or chemtrails or whatever.
Vaccines are entirely harmless, save a lot of lives, except crazy people think they're some kind of death serum."
You don't make astonishing amounts of money without ending up a jerk in some way.
Even our most popular forms of entertainment can treat their employees like absolute trash.
The news spent weeks reporting on these giant scandals without bothering to mention the stupidest parts.
Being at the top of your game can really drag you down.