"AAAAIIIIEEE -- wait, where did two of my fingers go?"
The episode then ends with the now complete Man-Spider lunging straight at the camera. We're sure every kid who slept with a Spidey plushie or action figure had pleasant dreams that night.
"Next on Fox Kids: Kim from Power Rangers laughs at your tiny penis!"
Eventually, Spider-Man is cured. We assume. We never saw the show again.
The Powerpuff Girls -- The Powerpuff Girls Go To Hell
If you never saw The Powerpuff Girls, don't worry: Every episode was pretty much the same. Every episode ...except one. The one called "Speed Demon" begins with the titular superpowered preteens deciding to race each other home after school -- only to find, once they get there, that their beloved Professor Utonium has turned into a miserable old man trying to recreate the accident that brought the girls into existence, but failing every time because he forgot the formula.
Or maybe, given his state, he's just really into meth.
What about the comically absent-minded Mayor? Oh, that guy is dead. Also, his once hot assistant has turned into a Gollum-like creature who hates the girls.
While showing them the decrepit visage of her side boob.
It's the same all over town: Everyone's dead or insane. Him, the effeminate devil, shows up and explains what happened: When the Powerpuff Girls reached superspeed, they traveled into a future where the whole world has gone to hell, and ... hey, isn't this the plot to Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey?
"Johnny Bravo convicted of sexual assault."
Anyway, the girls beat the crap out of Him with tears in their eyes, but he just turns into his true devil form (basically, Satan from South Park) and summons the tortured souls of Townsville to blame the girls for this bleak future. There are no jokes or clever innuendos. The damned people of Townsville morosely chant that this is all these little girls' fault for ... going straight home after school?
Hell is other people -- stinking, seborrheic, poop-stained other people.
In a desperate move, maybe to kill themselves in guilt, the girls fly to outer space and fall back to Earth in superluminal speed, creating another wormhole. They find Townsville back to normal, with the lesson that if they ever leave the stupid city for so much as a weekend, everyone they know will suffer for all eternity. So remember kids: Make sure to take your time when you walk home from school, or the same thing will happen to you.
For more cartoon jokes that flew over our heads, check out 6 Creepy Things You Never Noticed About Famous Kids Cartoons and 5 Grossly Inappropriate Jokes Hidden in Children's Cartoons.
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