Turns out you're not a bunch of Gollums hiding away your Cracked-Precious after all. You actually like to share our dick-joke larded chunks of wisdom!

Check out this week's favorites, which will be the foundation of a vast psychological profile we're compiling of you people...

The 6 Real and Terrifying Spider Superpowers

Chemical analysis and X-ray detection showed that Brazilian wandering spiders' fangs have metal atoms dispersed throughout, mainly copper, magnesium, iron and zinc. They're basically the Wolverines of the arachnid world. #CrackedClassic

10 Cracked Posts You Shared the Hell Out of Last Week - 3/15

Notable Comment: "Pictures of various bugs usualy [sic] show a human hand under them. Volunteers have courage."

Notable Reply to Notable Comment: "Arm from a dead guy."

Notable Comment: "Just mastutbate [sic] and be happy."

The World's Fastest Growing Industry (is a Pyramid Scheme)

When you look at the tactics multi-level marketing companies (like Amway) use to recruit people, you might start to wonder if they're more cult than company. Sometimes the families of MLM members get so desperate they hire people to get their loved ones out of the programs--just like with cults.

10 Cracked Posts You Shared the Hell Out of Last Week - 3/15

Gold Star Comment: "As opposed to Coulsonphilia, which is a strong sexual attraction to that SHIELD guy."

Gold Star Comment: "Johannesburg, South Africa: A few years ago, with the astronomically high rate of carjacking, BMW devised a FLAMETHROWER OPTION, that would straight roast a motherfucker if they tried to carjack you. Kinda like the back of the cab in the beginning of "Heavy Metal". I still want one. LOL"

Notable Comment: "I can confirm the type O thing. Those bitches love my sweet sweet nectar."

Notable Comment: "He was my anatomy professor. He is brilliant!"

The 6 Most Needlessly Dangerous Jackie Chan Stunts

Most people would have a complicated system of wires and harnesses to do this stunt. Jackie Chan decided he didn't need any of that garbage. #CrackedClassic

10 Cracked Posts You Shared the Hell Out of Last Week - 3/15

Gold Star Comment: "Everybody talks about Chuck Norris, but if Chuck Norris kicked Jackie Chan in the balls, he would be sucked in and absorbed by the massive gravitational force of Jackies [sic] humongous nuts...."

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