The only way to lie down is to be knocked down by your opponent, which means that what should be an epic final battle between good and evil on top of the world quickly degenerates into your hero purposely getting his ass kicked so he'll collapse and open up a chance for evil incarnate to showboat and fail miserably. That's not how you should defeat pure darkness -- that's how you should defeat a snooty rival cheerleading team in a Disney comedy.
Assassin's Creed II -- Fistfight the Elderly Pope
In Assassin's Creed II, you play as assassin Ezio Auditore during the height of the Italian Renaissance. Ezio is embroiled in a complicated story featuring aliens and pseudo-time travel through genetics that you'll completely ignore in favor of dive-bombing Venetian gondoliers.
"This is for keeping me up with your damn singing!"
But the main point of the story is that assassins are good and Templars are bad. The two sides are fighting a secret war, and you and Ezio kill several high-ranking Templars by using the full extent of your centuries-old assassination skills to stab them in broad daylight and run away really fast.
The game culminates in a showdown with the leader of the Templars himself, a man bent on controlling all of humanity. That's badass ... except you're a trained killer in the prime of his life, and your opponent is an overweight 68-year-old man by the name of Rodrigo Borgia. Doesn't ring any bells? Maybe you know him by another name: Pope Alexander VI.
"The power of Christ compels you to go easy on me."
The first phase of the fight involves Borgia using a mystical artifact to summon magical clones of himself, but magic aside, they're still clones of a chubby senior citizen, and Ezio has little trouble dispatching them. At this point Borgia flees, and when you corner him you resort to good old-fashioned fisticuffs. Literally nothing about this fight makes a player feel heroic, right down to the fact that Ezio is garbed in jet black while the pope is wearing a glowing white gown.
And "The Rumble in the Vatican Basement" doesn't have much of a ring to it.
The duel amounts to little more than watching Ezio effortlessly land punch after punch while the pope stumbles pathetically backwards like your drunk grandfather on Christmas.
If you're feeling particularly anti-religious, you can even land a few cheap knees to the pope's holy trinity. Ezio starts the fight by taunting, "Let us see what you are made of, old man," fully aware that the answer is "mostly pie and frailty." Just be glad you don't have to land a fatal blow -- Ezio eventually takes mercy, although that's after he gets the pope in an aggressive choke-hold and slams his decrepit old body into the cold, hard ground.
"After I'm done you're going to need a prostate reformation."
That's the problem with making historical figures action-game villains -- Borgia may have been corrupt, but it's hard to beat a master assassin to death with papal decrees and a reputation as an arts patron.
For more on video game baddies, check out 5 Famous Video Game Villains (Who Are Actually the Victim). And then check out If Video Game Characters Found More Practical Solutions.