Totally Not-Suspicious Jobs For Attractive Young Women
We all know what it's like to comb the Internet looking for part-time work, and Craigslist is as good a place as any to find a job, what with quality listings like this:
Congratulations on the worst use of the word "please" in recorded history.
The above ad seems innocent enough -- who wouldn't like extra spending money? All you have to do is be an attractive female and be willing to negotiate a salary for a job that he never actually gets around to explaining. We're sure he'll break it down, in detail, when you drive out to his neighborless ranch house in the next county. But if you aren't an attractive female, don't waste his fucking time.
Let's take a look at another ad:
"Oh, he's white? Sold!"
OK, that's a bit more clear. Some rich old guy wants to be a sugar daddy -- or, as is put creepily in quotes, he wants an "understanding" with some girl who really likes silk ("Understanding" is a word here meaning "enjoys being strangled with and buried in silk"). Good news, though -- he's blind to race. We can't think of a single reason not to give this guy a call and schedule a series of ongoing secret meetings.
Let's see what else is out there for enterprising young women:
"Other benefits" are the best kinds of benefits.
All right then. Here's an all-caps call to arms for fair-to-good-looking slave girls. He's not even offering money -- just "free" room and board, which is what literal slaves received. In exchange, you get to clean a house naked and have sex on command.
"Stay At My House And I Promise Not To Murder You"