How did such enormous and ancient monuments go undiscovered until the 21st century? Well, they were so friggin' old that time had actually covered them in a layer of dirt and foliage so thick, they looked like regular mountains. Clearly we're talking about the houses of the Old Ones here.

The Truth:

Or else they were just regular mountains.

There's a reason Osmanagic is an amateur archaeologist. On top of searching the world for hidden pyramids, his other hobbies include claiming that the Nazis "escaped to a secret underground base in Antarctica" and preparing humanity for the "cosmic vibrations" that were supposed to elevate us to a higher plane in 2012. He's basically the Ancient Aliens guy. We're sure he has some very interesting theories about 9/11 and chemtrails.

Chris Clinton/Photodisc/Getty Images
Why do we get the feeling that "cosmic vibrations" was part of a pick-up line?

But that doesn't account for the fact that they really, really look like pyramids, right? There's the pointy triangle shape, the blocks that they're built from, and the fact that even regular archaeologists who aren't conspiracy theorists were fooled.

The answer is shockingly simple: The "building blocks" are just weak sandstones broken by tectonic stress to create the illusion of small blocks, and tougher stones are likewise broken into large blocks. It's all just natural stone with fissures and cracks, and it can be seen in formations across the world. Twelve thousand years ago, European man was capable of building only flimsy huts, as the actual archaeological evidence revealed, and which the Bosnian state, thankfully, acknowledged upon withdrawing funding. Governments are just like little kids sometimes -- they want to believe in the awesome fiction so badly that only when the X-Ray Spex show up in the mail do they begrudgingly admit they wasted their Popsicle money.

Mhare
At least the kids would've enjoyed that they got a nice sledding hill out of the deal.

And as for the mysterious pyramid shape, well ... it's just a slightly pointy hill. Sometimes the world is kind of a drag, kids.

The Truth:

Despite a bevy of excited archaeologists feverishly speculating about ancient American cities from beyond time, calmer (smarter?) scientists have known since way back in 1909 that these are sandstone dykes -- basically fragments of sandstone filling in long cracks in the surrounding landscape.

Over time, heat and the movement of the Earth cause horizontal breaks in the stone, making it look like bricks. In the 1920s, the man-made theory was promoted by an acknowledged tomb raider named Count Byron Khun de Prorok (come on, he is clearly the villain of this piece -- there hasn't been a good count since Chocula). The Count had an agenda in mind from the second he stumbled across the wall: He wanted to link it with the fabled King Solomon's Mines. The excavations in the 1930s had been a prelude to opening the area up as a tourist site. And he would've gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for those meddling geologists and their rotten dog ... ged tendency to value facts over a good story.

Via Wikipedia
"I'm bored with this whole 'Promised Land' thing; let's go to Texas."

In 1987, divers off the coast of Japan found what appeared to be an underwater city, which has since been named the Yonaguni monument. It's a vast mess of pyramid-like structures, staircases, walls, pillars, and even an amphitheater submerged 80 feet underwater -- if you squint, you can almost see where an ancient merman carved "Slayer rulez" into that bench.

Kihachiro Aratake
"Seasons in the Abyss" was especially loved by Atlanteans.

Experts estimate the age of the monument to be up to 12,000 years old, and scarf-wearing archaeo-hipsters estimate the monument to be up to 12,000 times cooler than the sellout mainstream Atlantis. Numerous expeditions have been done, and huge press interest has been generated on a discovery that, if confirmed, could change everything we know about the origins of civilization.

The Truth:

Although Yonaguni really looks like a complete city with intact steps and walls, no actual artifacts have been found, and there is absolutely no evidence whatsoever of an advanced society being in the area thousands of years ago, much less one with scuba gear and a very poor sense of civic planning. When you look at some similar formations nearby, above the water, suddenly it doesn't look so mysterious.

Robert Schoch
But soak this baby and BOOM, 8th Wonder of the Ancient World.

The idea that Yonaguni is some kind of ancient city was championed by the author Graham Hancock, who writes books about bullshit lost civilizations for a living. There isn't a pile of three rocks in the world that Hancock hasn't declared to be the fingerprint of some mysterious lost people. The rest of the media are to blame here: The History Channel may not exactly be a serious source these days, but National Geographic gave credence to the idea, and Britain's Channel 4 gave Hancock a three-part series. We know it was a slow day on the programming slate, but come on, guys: That's no excuse for feeding pseudoscientists the press attention they require to keep from withering into a bunch of asshole-scented husks like the media vampires they are.

The Truth:

The Alberta face is just a quirky twist of erosion, and as unromantic as it sounds, those earphones are not evidence of time-traveling Native Canadian rock-sculptors. They're a road leading to an oil well. From the ground, it looks like what it is: a regular, unimpressive hill.

Via YouTube
Now that looks more like the thrilling Canadian landscape we know.

It's a prime example of pareidolia: seeing seemingly meaningful images (in this case, a face) in abstract forms. Software has even been designed to search Google Maps for images that look like faces. Seriously, plug the right algorithm in and the whole world is full of mysterious giant faces.

In Russia:

Google Earth

In France:

Google Earth

And, famously, on Mars:

NASA
Aww. Poor guy got ditched by the other giant rock monsters.

So either there's a race of planet-hopping titans who are way into the hip new trend of geo-selfies, or we as a people just habitually read too much into everything.