How is this even possible, you ask? Does it involve some kind of horrifying eyeball tattoo gun? Actually, it turns out that, technically, everyone has blue eyes. It's just that for the majority of us, our mundane genes decided to squirt a whole mess of brown pigment on top of the blue. But now Dr. Gregg Homer has arrived, laser-guided pigment bomb in hand, to tell your genes to get bent.
Basically, the procedure consists of laser-burning the shit out of the brown pigment in each of your eyes. Then, since your body never planned for the eventuality of sci-fi death rays attacking its irises and therefore never thought to keep an extra supply of eye pigment on hand, it decides to simply chuck the damaged pigment out. In two or three weeks, all traces of brown disappear, and you're left with eyes worthy of a crooner.
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With none of the raging alcoholism.
We're sure many of you are scrambling to have your eyeballs lasered by a doctor who sounds like a gag from The Simpsons as soon as humanly possible, but don't get in too much of a rush -- the procedure's still in the testing stages. The good news, though, is that all preliminary tests have turned out well, at least according to Homer. He's tested it on animals, cadavers, and Mexicans (seriously), all without a single complaint. The better news is that if you just can't wait until the procedure gets the official OK from The Man, you can head straight to the not-at-all-evil-sounding Stroma Medical website and volunteer to be a guinea pig for one of the good doctor's trial runs.