The science shows that it works, too -- they did an experiment with two fake defendants, one white, one black. Both were photographed with and without glasses. More than 200 "jurors" were given one of the four pictures and told that the person in the picture was accused of snatching a woman's purse and cutting her face with a box cutter. Damn, scientists, that's ... weirdly specific. Anyway, in the experiment, adding glasses reduced the percentage of "guilty" verdicts by 20 percent. Note: This only works for violent crime. If you're accused of a white-collar nerd crime, the glasses lead to more guilty verdicts.
But let's say glasses are not an option for you. Maybe you're using your courtroom appearance to land a modeling contract, or maybe you don't have a nose. That's OK. Lawyers think you can still use your attire to manipulate the judge and jury. Kidnap victim turned bank robber Patty Hearst, for example, intentionally dressed in clothes that were too big for her during her trial. The XXLs were supposed to make her look frail and small, like a victim. During their trial for murdering their parents, the Menendez boys switched from tailored suits to pastel sweaters, presumably in the hope that the jury would confuse both of them with Carlton Banks.
"I'm telling you, it was that damned William Smith, your honor!"
Consultants who do nothing but study this kind of stuff advise women to dress young and girlish, but by all means, cover up. Are you a man who wears a toupee? Why? Who told you that was a good idea? Don't wear it to court, because it makes you look like you've got something other than your big bald head to hide. Finally, all the oversized clothes and bald heads in the world won't help you if you just happen to be one of those guys with shifty eyes. For this, experts go back to the glasses thing. Only they have been known to spray them with cooking oil so the glare will make it harder to see your evil, guilty eyes.