WARNING: The following contains numerous monsters and implied male nudity. Also may contain implied gore and implied flamethrower and implied interdimensional travel and the evil prison guard from The Shawshank Redemption and award-winning actor Paul Giamatti.
Based on the novel by Cracked Editor David Wong, here is the quite frankly insane first trailer for "yes, this is a real movie" John Dies at the End. Watch it, then scroll down for commentary from Mr. Wong:
If you are any kind of a normal human being, the above video has raised several hundred questions in your mind. Let me quickly answer a few of them.
1. "Wait, who are you again?"
I'm Cracked.com Senior Editor David Wong and the author of John Dies at the End, the novel that has now been made into the above movie. Note, that was just the teaser trailer, not the entire movie. The movie will be longer.
2. "I'm confused, didn't that clip begin with Oscar nominated actor Paul Giamatti calling a character 'David Wong'? Was that you?"
It's actually very simple.
There are numerous things wrong with my brain that in the future will almost certainly be classified as diseases. A few years ago, while I was working in a cubicle at an insurance company, I decided that putting all of what I was seeing in my head into words would alleviate the disease by spreading it to other people (it was only much later that someone sat me down and told me that's not how diseases work). The result was a supposed autobiographical story about the time me and my friend John took drugs and were chased by monsters. It was a tale that required 150,000 words to tell and 36 of them were "boner." I called it John Dies at the End because I realized most people were busy and would want to know the most relevant facts right away.