Powering up the game, I was treated to an inspirational video so self-affirming I thought I'd accidentally loaded Tina Turner 10. To reassure me that I was really living the life of a simulated NFL player, I was asked to accept a contract... and deal with advertising offers. And fill out a survey. And provide an e-mail home address, password and account information. I was half expecting to be asked to represent the player's union in a prolonged labor dispute by the time the game started.
I chose the teams, setting the game to "Spectator" and sat down to watch the synthetic Super Bowl. EA immediately assured me that SNICKERS was CHOMPTASTIC before running a ticker-ad for an ad for a trailer for EA's Mass Effect 2--it was rapidly becoming clear that I had paid money for the privelage of watching advertising. But the negative feelings were quickly washed away by nostalgia as the computerized commentators started off their telecast referring to "THIS TEAM versus THAT TEAM" as though their nuts are slammed in a desk every time they say a proper noun.
Madden 10 seems determined to add a frightening level of realism to the game, but when the feature list includes "animated hand towels," I begin to wonder if they're really focusing on the important stuff. When it adds "up to nine-men gang tackles," I wonder if the game was outsourced to a Japanese company that got the wrong impression from all the sweaty grappling.
The Japanese Madden '95
Plus, EA had Madden 10 predict the Super Bowl at the start of the season and gave it to the Patriots. And I just can't trust a Patriots fan.
The Colts win 35-27. Computer-Madden adds that Addai and Bush put forth powerful running games.
It's a solid attempt, but it can't quite simulate the feel of a real Super Bowl. I mean, the screen is an authentically choked gaggle of random ads and irrelevant bullshit, it's just that all the ads are for the same three things. And none of those ads feature offensively obvious pandering by way of boobies, so this is clearly not the Super Bowl.