Quick posthumous tip for you, Margie: Want to know why the phrase is offensive? Because Japanese people are offended by it, you horrible, horrible bitch.
Enough offenses for you? No? OK, howsabout this; she wouldn't let her players wear earrings because "only fruits wear earrings." Probably the least egregious thing she ever did in her life was let her St. Bernard, Schotzie, run around on the field all it damn well pleased, which of course led to big steaming piles of dog shit being left on the field.
Seriously, Reds players often complained about having to avoid stepping in dog shit while playing in professional baseball games. When one of the nicer things you ever did in your life was make your players play on a dog shit-laden field, you truly deserve the title of one of the biggest assholes in baseball history.
You knew he'd show up here eventually.
The breaking of an all-time record is usually a joyous thing. It makes grown men cry, women swoon, and dogs hump trees like there is no tomorrow. So what happened when Barry Bonds broke Hank Aaron's all-time home run record, perhaps the most hollowed record in ALL of sports, not just baseball? A lot of people got pissed. That's how much Barry Bonds is hated.
There are two universal truths people know about Barry Bonds; One, he is the face of the steroids era and two, he is a huge dick to pretty much everybody. Barry is known to be one of the worst teammates possible and openly hostile with the media. In college, he feuded with teammates and his manager. In Pittsburgh, he feuded with teammates and his manager. In San Francisco he was given essentially half the locker room to himself and big comfy recliner chairs out of the hope he wouldn't bitch.
When Bonds is not enjoying being a totally arrogant dick to teammates and reporters, he likes to spend his down time with his family. Or his mistress, Kimberly Bell, whom he had an affair with from 1994 until 2003, which means it started about the time he divorced his first wife, left him undeterred from getting married in 1998, and kept on keeping on. In Barry's defense though, at least he was nice enough to buy her a house in Arizona. So he had a place to bang her.
Now, you may be asking, "Well this is all fine and dandy, but do you have any crazy anecdotes that make Bonds seem incredibly immature to the point of pyschosis?" To which we retort, do we ever!
In the 2001 off season, Gary Sheffield decided to take up Barry on an offer to work out with him, particularly because Barry told Sheffield he had a regimen that would help save him from injuries. Hard work and vitamins? No you silly goose, he was talking about steroids, giving cute little nick names like "the cream", "the clear", and "red beans".
However, the fun was just beginning. Apparently, Bonds insisted Gary not bring his own car. Then, after he arrived, Bonds would intentionally leave Sheffield stranded at the house. No big deal, right? Probably just a misunderstanding. Gary just rented a car.
Bonds was furious. Why? Don't ask us, we're not fucking crazy. But for whatever reason, Sheffield having gained a means of transportation caused Bonds to flip out, and he locked Sheffield out of the house. We're not completely sure what Bonds was planning for their stay together, but the apparent plot to imprison an all-star baseball player in his home makes us picture something from the movie Misery.
What's there about this man that wasn't detestable? During his career he stole a lot of bases, which is impressive. Of course, the fact that he sharpened his metal cleats and was not shy about gouging them into a man's leg if they got in his way of stealing a base probably helped out a tad on that front.
Then of course, there was the racism, which to be fair was no more virulent than your average southern folk back in the day, and certainly we have let the repulsively racist actions of those in the past slide in favor of other attributes on the occasion in the country (see Jefferson, Thomas). Plus, there is a distinct chance he fixed a game or two in his day.
But what makes this racist douchebag stand out amongst the rest of the racist douchebags who used to plague the sport? How many of them can claim they once violently beat up a man with no hands? None of them, we imagine. That's right, you read that correctly and we'll say it again for emphasis: Ty Cobb once beat up a man with no hands.
Above: The eyes of a madman.
Said man, named Claude Lueker who had lost one hand and three fingers of his other in an industrial accident was giving Cobb a hard time from the stands. If you've ever been to a professional sports event, you have heard some drunk moron yelling things so heinous you begin to wonder if you are even the same species. However, to the players' credit, they manage to keep their cool. Mr. Lueker then accused Mama Cobb of being *gasp* half-black. This was enough to send Cobb into the stands ready to kick some severely handicapped ass.
As onlookers begged him to stop pummeling a man with no hands, Cobb retorted, "I don't care if he has no feet" which proved Cobb had a quick wit to go along with a soul as black as coal. Needless to say, Cobb was suspended by baseball. Inexplicably, his teammates refused to play another game until Cobb was reinstated. We guess it's not too unreasonable. Sure, he was a miserable, racist bastard who had beaten up a man with no hands, but he was their miserable, racist bastard who had beaten up a man with no hands.
For some folks with balls that manage to make Jose Canseco's look even smaller than they probably are, check out The 7 Ballsiest Sports Cheats. Or find out about the sporting event of the century in Dan O'Brien's post: Unknown Blogger To Challenge Google to Death Race.