It's time for the NCAA tournament: the one week out of the year that your office turns into a Vegas sports book. Here are the six people you're going to want to choke out by the time the Final Four roles around.
Your boss views the NCAA office pool as an opportunity to establish some common ground with his staff, and dole out some good-natured ribbing.
"Hey Doug, what happened to your Kentucky Wildcats this year?"
"Sure Dave, like I'm going to listen to the genius who has Pitt going to the Final Four."
"Michigan? Michigan Irene? They're not even in the fucking tournament! See, this
is why women aren't allowed talk at meetings."
It's important to keep in mind that your boss didn't come to lord over you by shying away from competition, so it's best to keep the reciprocal chiding friendly and light. Avoid wild accusations that he's at the center of a vast Masonic game-fixing conspiracy. Even though he so obviously is.Odds of Winning: 20-1
Look on the bright side-- when he wins, there's always a chance he'll spread the wealth by taking everyone out to Chi-Chi's for lunch!
THE GUY WHO DOESN'T PICK ANY UPSETS
This guy will talk at length about how he liked the grittiness Kansas showed in the Big 12 tournament even though it's obvious that he just put a check next to their name because they were a one seed. The
aggravating thing about this dickless approach is that, while it would never fly in a legit NCAA pool that weights for upsets, it works most of the time in a bush league office pool. Even more annoying is how hard it is to find a box of live cobras to FedEx him.Odds of Winning: 10-1
"Tupac didn't play it safe either," you'll tell this guy as you laugh dismissively at his womanly bracket, and again when he finishes in the top three in your office. Sadly, thinking of yourself as the Tupac of your NCAA office pool will not make his success sting any less.
YOUR BOSS'S DAUGHTER
Your boss's daughter burst onto the scene in 2006, when she correctly picked Florida and UCLA to go to the finals because "that's where Mickey Mouse lives," and Georgetown because her imaginary friend is named George. Before the second round is underway, you'll be cursing her under your breath while the rest of the people in your office have the good sense to pretend like she hasn't entered her awkward phase.
Odds of Winning: 45-1
It's a bad year for her as the Universities of both Disney Land and Disney World both had down years, and her third favorite UNC (the pretty light blue team) isn't even in the tournament. She could make some noise in the later rounds if three seed Georgetown goes deep, while you quietly point out to no one in particular that she's probably too old to have an imaginary friend.