Spring is upon us, and love is in the air! In response to recent allegations that my "snake isn't straight," I'm stepping away from my world domination plans to prove once and for all that Cobra Commander is 100% stud.
The following social advisement is my first and final gift to you, aside from allowing you to live under my future rule. Also, as recommended by my publicist, I will temporarily dispense with my theatrical ssssss
p, for ease of audibility.
When asking a female for her digits, have a B.A.T. (Battle Android Trooper) with you to digitally record her phone number, and holographically image her face.
If said phone number turns out to be erroneous,
assign Storm Shadow to assassinate her. If said phone number turns out to be correct,
assign Storm Shadow to assassinate her, but after you bang her.
When picking up a date, it' unnecessary to arrive with a battalion of H.I.S.S. tanks.
Arriving alone in your own personalized H.I.S.S. tank
is perfectly acceptable.
If going to a more formal venue that requires tickets or reservations, make sure to wear your explosive laced helmet,
and accessorize with a pink cape
and solid gold cane.
For a more casual activity, such as bowling, wearing your