Microsoft's video game system actually comes in two different versions — a stripped-down $300 system and a higher-end $400 version. The difference between the two? The cheaper version of the Xbox 360 is equipped with a quarter slot that allows for 30 minutes of play for each 50 cents entered. The quarters travel through a series of tubes (sold separately) back to Microsoft's headquarters. So unless the only game you own is the critically-acclaimed, but not-very-child-friendly "A Half-Hour Chat with William F. Buckley," you'd be best to avoid.
Nintendo's console comes in at a lean $250, making it by far the most affordable system on the market. Despite early rumors that Nintendo was taking the easy road and developing a home version of the old Donkey Kong arcade game, it is fully apparent that that Japanese company has indeed developed an all-new, high-powered home console with functions previously never seen. However, to cut costs, it is made of cardboard and Elmer's glue.
Home to the Grand Theft Auto series, Sony's consoles have been derided as causing children to lash out violently against both random passersby and the Triads. No help are games like the Madden football series, which have caused countless children to crash into each other while trying to get from one end of a field to another in never-before-seen demonstrations of aggression. This new console promises even more violent influence, and is also rumored to be a smoker.
With games in its library like the Halo series and Battlefield 2, the Xbox has shown the importance of fighting for one's country or a cause. Beating up on prostitutes is a travesty, but shooting an invading alien or foreigner in the face is not only noble, it's necessary. A great teaching tool for families, the Xbox 360 will allow all young people to know how good it feels to jab someone who speaks a different language in the gut with an elaborately serrated knife and watch the blood ooze out of their abdominal cavity down to your fingernails.