Well, you know, I do what I can. You know, sometimes I just sit around and think to myself, hey, what's up with my mortgage rate? I mean, my mortgage and my home is so important to my life"Â¦
Hey! Wait a second!
I am an internet humorist! I don't have a mortgage! I don't even have money!
I've got my f****n' eye on you, buddy. Watch yourself. I bet your quotes are loaded with hassle. That's how much I don't trust you now.
You might just have a point there, youko, but consider this: If they re-made Weekend at Bernie's with a real-live dead guy, how would they get him to dance?
Also, you can't mess with a classic, no matter how much red and pink text you use or how many musical notes you end your e-mails with.
Okay, pastafina, but how much will this cost me?
But seriously, would you advertise any service, business or skill for free? You mean you wouldn't charge if my talent was being able to eat a whole sleeve of Ritz crackers in under a minute? Or my skill was being able to jack off a muskrat to orgasm? Or my business was somehow doing both at the same time?
What if my social/neighborhood event had something to do with burning Sandra Bullock in effigy? How many Sandra Bullocks would I be allowed to burn? Could I throw in some Keanus for good measure?