We have to go wretch now, we'll be right back.
Wow, what a nice greeting! And a happy day to you Dunbar!
It's certainly a good thing that you didn't insinuate that we CRACKED staffers are horribly obese, because that's a very sensitive-Hey! Wait a second!
Fatblaster, Dunbar?! We don't believe this shit! We are so fucking offended!
You know what? Maybe we don't want to "loose" that "unwanted weight." Maybe we want to keep it on a tight leash to hold onto it forever! And maybe then we'll use the leash for the sake of sadomasochistic sex and force you to watch us fat people do it! Asshole!
And don't think we didn't get that crack about the wind not serving either! Never e-mail us again, Dunbar!
Anyway, this offer of yours sounds pretty great. By our calculations, we could be coming out, let's see, about $298,300 on top here. Paying around $700 for nearly $300,000 sounds like perfect business sense to us.
However, the assertion that this won't "last long" has a nurse with a poised needle vibe that concerns us. It makes it sound like this is going to be painful. Is that some kind of indication that the money will be injected into our bodies, perhaps? Or that you're going to shove it up our asses like some sort of financial rectal exam? If so, count us in.