Patriots 28, Bills 6
After rolling over Buffalo with minimal effort, Tom Brady and the rest of the Patriots called the Bills out to the 50-yard line for a big announcement. "We're so proud of you guys," Brady sniffled. "Who wants some ice cream?"
The Bills, who have lost seven of their last eight meetings with New England, were assured that no matter what the scoreboard said, they "were all winners!" "I kicked-ed a gold feel!" shouted Buffalo kicker Rian Lindell through a mouthful of vanilla soft serve. "Two! Two gold feels!"
"He means 'field goal,'" chuckled Brady, mussing Lindell's hair while smiling patronizingly. "You sure did, big guy!
You sure did!
Broncos 17, Browns 7
Have you ever been dating someone and things just aren't working out, but there's no real reason you can point at and say, "That's where things have gone wrong?"
In fact, things might be going really well
, which makes it that much more difficult to justify why you want to break up, both to the other person and to yourself. Even worse is when there's someone else you'd like to be dating who is available and who likes you, but you can't see until you're out of your current relationship. So you start putting yourself into positions that might lead to a legitimate break up excuse and, in at least part of your heart, you hope things go badly and start down that road to Splitsville.
Replace yourself with the Broncos and your significant other with Jake Plummer and you'll understand the situation in Denver.
Against the decidedly terrible Cleveland Browns, Plummer completed fewer than half his passes for barely 200 yards, could only muster the team to 17 points and tossed away two interceptions, one of which set up a touchdown that cost the defense its first road shut out in nearly a decade and a half. Meanwhile, Jay Cutler is sitting on the sidelines, ready to be the next quarterback of the future. But as long as the team keeps winning, there's no excuse to demote Plummer. "That's okay," said Cutler as he closed the door to coach Mike Shanahan's office, "I understand how important Jake is to this team and I'd never want to come between him and Denver." Moments later, Stevie Wonder's "Part Time Lovers" could be heard through the closed door.