This old standby gets two and a half out of four bases.
Honestly, this is just fun to say. Say it out loud. Come on. "Coitus." "Coooooitus." "Co-i-tus." Honestly, we're not sure there' any Latin-y, scientific-sounding word that is a more perfect descriptor for sex. There' just something about it that' seductive but also kind of dirty. If there' any problem with it, it may be that for whatever reason it sounds like a word that might describe a snake: "It' coitus and ready to strike!" but, considering the fact that the male genitals are so often compared to just such a creature, I guess it' appropriate. Anyway, coitus. Hurray coitus! A solid triple.
A BIT OF THE OLE IN 'N' OUT
This is a terrific euphemism, mainly because it reminds us of two awesome movies. One, obviously, is A Clockwork Orange
, which, well, is where it came from. It ranks right up there with "ultra violence" and "I'm selling magaziiines!" as quotes that we will repeat from that movie until we're dead. But the term also always reminds us of The Big Lebowski
, only because we immediately make the connection with In-n-Out Burger, which leads us to remember that scene where they're eating In-n-Out Burgers in the Dude' car after Walter smashes up that kid' car. So really, our appreciation of the phrase has essentially nothing to do with sex.